Lagi Pengen Nulis

Hi There!

Hwah, udah lama banget aku gak update blog gak jelas ini. Lamaaaaa banget *lebai. Sebenernya banyak banget yang pengen aku tulis di sini. Ada hari-hari terakhirku di Amerika, perjalanan pulang ke Indonesia yang melelahkan dan tak terlupakan, insiden Flu Babi yang membuatku diisolasi, kangen-kangenan sama temen-temen tercinta, pertemuan dengan temen-temen baru, asik enggaknya jadi seorang seniornya senior di sekolah, reverse homesickness, laptop baru, kegiatan sekolah yang seabrek, sampe tentang 'butterfly' in my chest. Tapi oh tapi, kenyataan yang aku alami tidak mengijinkanku untuk berleha-leha di depan komputer sambil merekam memori-memori menyenangkan di blog ini. Oh well, mau gimana lagi? Namanya juga anak kelas 12...

Nah, kalo nyatanya aku lagi sibuk, kenapa sekarang aku bisa nulis postingan ini? Yah, inilah yang disebut dengan perencanaan skala prioritas yang buruk. Seharusnya sekarang ini aku sedang berada di kamar, berkutat dengan LKS Matematika, Worksheet Biologi, dan tugas gambar perspektif. Tapi, aku menerima panggilan jiwa *halah*, so here I am, trying to sum up my feelings.

nah lo, sekarang bingung mau nulis apa.....

...................

...................

oia, aku sedang dilanda virus 'senior year'; yaitu virus kebingungan dan kehilangan arah. Seperti halnya kebanyakan anak-anak kelas 12 yang lain, aku pun masih bingung untuk menentukan kemanakah aku akan melanjutkan studi setelah lulus SMA. Keinginan masih banyak dan menyebar, ada pula keinginan yang bertentangan dengan orang tua. Teknik Industri, Teknik Kimia, Teknik Elektro, Kedokteran, atau malah Hubungan Internasional? Kemarin aku udah nyoba mencoret beberapa option dan menyisakan dua pilihan, yaitu Teknik Industri dan Teknik Kimia, tapi.... aku takut kalo suatu saat berubah lagi. Well, nggak perlu takut sih sebenernya, tapi aku emang gitu... Sering kehilangan arah, susah memutuskan sesuatu, dan takut gagal.

Oh iya, sekarang aku juga lagi nyari-nyari info beasiswa di luar negeri, doain yaa... Kata orang-orang sih, beasiswa S1 tuh jarang, tapi ya siapa tau...

Hmm...sebenernya masih banyak yang pengen kutulis, tapi... udah jam 8 nih, tugas-tugas menunggu!

Btw, lewat postingan ini aku juga pengen menyebar semangat (ini kayak judul majalah basa Jawa aja, *Panjebar Semangat*) kepada semua siswa kelas 12 di Indonesia, terutama para Pejuang Bhawikarsu.. Smangat rek!!! We'll get through this!!! Semoga kita lulus 100%!!! Let's do our best and God will do the rest ;)

Jangan lupa awali semuanya dengan doa....

Wish you luck!

A Thousand Miles

Makin' my way downtown, walkin' fast

Faces pass, and I'm homebound

Staring blankly ahead just makin' a way

Makin' my through the crowd

And I need you and I miss you

And now I wonder if I could fall into the sky

Do yo think time would pass me by

Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles

If I could just see you tonight

It's always times like these when I think of you

And I wonder if you ever think of me

Cause everything's so wrong and I don't belong

livin' in your precious memory

Cause I need you and I miss you

And now I wonder if I could fall into the sky

Do yo think time would pass me by

Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles

If I could just see you tonight

I, I don't wanna let you know

I, I drown in your memory

I, I don't wanna let this show

I, I don'tMakin' my way downtown,

Walkin' fast, faces pass, and I'm homebound

Staring blankly ahead, just makin' a way

Makin' my through the crowd

And I still need you I still miss you

And now I wonder if I could fall into the sky

Do yo think time would pass us by

Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles

If I could just see you

Oh oh oh

If I could fall into the sky

Do you think time would pass me by

Coz you know I'd walk a thousand miles

If I could just see youIf I could just hold you tonight

~Sang beautifully by an angel~

I've Fallen in Love with This City of Million Faces

New York City, April 27th 2009

"Rainbow"

I have been thinking about homosexuality for a long time. Not that I am becoming a lesbian or something...I just want to understand how different people in the world see it. I had a wicked long email thread with my American friend about this issue. Apparently, we have a slightly different point of view about this. If someone who happens to read this post is a gay or lesbian or anybody else , don't be offended, I'm just a confused kid who is trying to understand the world ;)

So, here is how I think about homosexuality... Based on my background culture and religion, I would say that homosexuality is not "normal". I put "quotes" on it because normality is very relative, depending on people's perspective, culture, religion, and commonness. Commonness, is that a word?

Well, anyway, I say that homosexuality is not normal because I grew up in a community where homosexuality is not exposed. Frankly, I have never known any homosexual people before I came to America. Second, I grew up in a religious community. I remember that Quran mentions the indecency between two men, but I don't know exactly how are we suppose to interpret it. Click here for some more Quran quotes about homosexuality.

My friend agrees about the relativity of normality, but she said "Not normal doesn't mean it's wrong." Well, I am not sure I agree with this. I mean, what is it that make you say something is wrong? It is (again) different in different culture and custom.

I am sorry, but I think being homosexual is against the nature. I mean... men are created to be with women, water is created to overcome fire, etc etc. But, when I think about it... I realize, homosexuality comes naturally. You cannot choose who are you going to fall in love with. If you happen to fall in love with someone with the same gender, what can you do?

I was being so insensitive when I told my friend that I believe that gay people can "change" their homosexuality. My friend was outraged, I guess. She said that it's hurtful to even say that. She said that it's so hateful when people say that "straight" is normal and everyone who is not straight has to change themselves. She doesn't believe that people can truly change being gay. They can oppress and supress it until they drive themseves crazy, but someday they will act out of it. She said, "People are people, just because someone is against it, or disagrees with gay marriage, or gay people in general doesn't mean they should make them, or even tell them that they can "change". it's ridiculous to even say that"

Oooh...I got slapped in my face. When I said that, I don't mean that I want to make them change or anything. I just believe that they can. I am not a preacher or something, I have no power to tell people what to do; I dont' even want to.

I don't know...I am so sad to see how the way I think is so hurtful for other people...but what am I supposed to do? This is how I believe it...

I am probably now being so conservative, but I am trying my best to be open-minded. I know that nobody cares about my opinion or what I think about something, so I just say what I have in my mind.

So, after a long thought, I came to a personal conclusion. If someday I ever fall in love with a girl, I would try my best to fall out of love (even if people say it's impossible). But, I will never be a homophobic person. I totally respect all people regardless their point of view about everything, including homosexuality.

As I wrote on my previous post "Day of Silence", I hate people who discriminate gay or lesbian. I respect their choice and I don't want to hurt their feelings.

Well, yeah...that's a bit of my confusion..
God... please help me fathom this...

---------------------------------------------------------------

O yeah... related to the topic, I have a little story and pictures to share ;)

Last month, I had a trip with other NH exchangies to Provincetown, MA. Provincetown (P-town for instance) is a very neat and pretty town. It is not big but lovely. It's so nice just to walk downtown and go to the stores. P-town is wellknown as a big community of gay-lesbian. Yeah, it is very obvious. Beside there are many couples that you can meet, there are many gay-pride-flags being displayed in P-town stores and homes.

I found this eccentric fountain in front of a bauty salon (if I'm not mistaken). At first, I only found it interesting because of the barbies. Then, when I saw the picture I took, I noticed that there is the more interesting thing about the barbies. Can you see it? Ah, P-town is soo unique ^^

Yup, there are many many accesories with rainbow colors on it. As you can read on the picture, the rainbow is a symbol of gay pride. Oh yeah...and I bought a postcard with rainbow on it...for souvenir ;)

photo courtesy of sfPhotocraft

A picture of rainbow flag on one of P-town's store

So much things to tell, so little time to write

I can't explain how I feel right now. I feel everything. Sad, happy, excited, gloomy, whatever.

These last two weeks were very hectic. I had so much things to do, mostly schoolworks. I had so many things to write here, including my trip to Provincetown, MA and New York City, also my intense e-conversation with Lucy. I just don't have enough time to do that.

Now.. Theresia just left for Germany. T-T

I don't know when can we meet again. Probably not at all... but I really hope we will someday.

This makes me think how soon I am going to leave. A lil bit more than a month. Jade and Pato are gonna leave before me. And next week is the last meeting with NH exchangies. Everybody is gonna leave real soon. We don't know if we ever get a chance to meet each other again. To think about goodbyes are just painful.

My goodbyes are not gonna stop there. When I get back home, there will be a farewell party for my friends who are graduating from high school. I just get back to see them, and I have to see them leave! They're my besties,, and my school days are gonna be different without them T-T

I hope everything will be alright...

A Post When I am Mentally TIRED T-T

Capek...capek...capek...

Haduh...rasanya pengen bobok seharian penuh. Udah dari seminggu yang lalu aku pengen ngepost cerita2 dari spring break yang sangat menyenangkan itu...tapi apa daya, those damned homeworks were waiting to be done. Kalo udah soal peer, aku jadi nggak tahan. Pengennya dikerjain dulu, baru seneng-seneng. Tapi kok sampe sekarang belom seneng-seneng juga??? Sabaaar... soalnya besok aku bakal have fun juga.

Hff...ini aku baru nyeleseiin Newsletter buat Bina Antarbudaya sama POW buat math class-ku. Sebenernya masih ada satu tugas lagi: English creative writing. Kalo itu bisa nunggu dikit lah...soalnya aku belum ada inspirasi.

Ngomong2 soal mentally exhausted...aku jadi mikir, ntar kalo masuk kelas 3 apa aku kuat ya? Les, bimbel di skolah, pr, tugas, ujian praktek, UAS, UNAS, PMB, SNMPTN....what the hell?? Akhir akhir ini, di Facebook temenku pada rame soal PMB unair dan ITB plus SNMPTN. Ada beberapa temenku yang berhasil tembus PMB (congratulationS!!), tapi ada juga beberapa temenku yang harus ikut SNMPTN karena nggak diterima PMB. Aku juga baca notes mereka yang saling menyemangati satu sama lain. Hh...rek, aku bangga sama kalian semua T-T

Btw, aku harus nyiapin diri sebelum masuk kelas 3. Harus nyiapin diri karena aku bakal punya temen-temen baru (semoga mereka bakal sekeren dan se-nyenengin temen2ku yang sekarang)...harus nyiapin diri buat nerima ekspektasi tinggi dari ortu dan keluarga... dan yang paling penting, nyiapin diri untuk ngeluarin tenaga habis-habisan buat belajar, berusaha, dan berdoa. Yup, taun depan akan jadi taun yang penting buat aku.

Tahun lalu, sewaktu aku di Jakarta buat orientasi Nasional, aku dijemput Om Uki. Beliau tuh sepupunya papaku. Di mobil, beliau bilang, "Semoga eki nanti bisa jadi orang sukses pertama di keluarganya Eyang Yunus ya.." Orang sukses pertama? Yup, karena aku cucu pertamanya eyang. Pastinya, ortuku dan keluargaku berharap banyak dari aku, apalagi setelah exchange year-ku di USA ini.

hmm...burden? yes. Motivation? yes.

Eki Semangaaaat!!!

^,^9

btw, besok aku berangkat ke Cape Cod... trus minggu depan, di skolah ada Carnival Week..

Smoga bisa memulihkan otakku yang lagi lesu ini..

:D

Ganbatte!!

?!?!?!?!?

Who could believe that I am the only one who got an A of English Paper in my class????
I couldn't.
but I am...
Thanks to Owen Meany, LOL

Happy 5th of May!

photo courtesy of IceCreamRawrness

Fifth of May has always been a memorable day in my life. I share this happy day with two people: My lovely cousin, Mas Irfan and my friend Terra. Happy Birthday for both of you!! ^,^

I got a message from my friend back home who is also an AFS-er,, she said:

"TANJOUBI OMEDETOU,,EKI-CHAN!!!!!
wish this adventure will give you a lasting memories,
that gives you strength to face challenges,
that gives you gratefulness of what you have,
that gives your heart a warmth when outside feels so cold,
that gives you spirit to keep going on,
and give you a highway to His blessings!!!
amiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

iiiiiiiiiiiiin,,,

wish you all the best,,
really I do.
=D"

I would say that this whole set of journey is the greatest birthday present for me. I am so grateful for that, alhamdulillah...
^,^

I was half-dead, but how about them?

Two days ago, I was dying! I'm telling you...track practice two days ago was killing me! Tearing my pleuras apart from my lungs, trying to blow my heart away like a grenade, and pulling off my legs and breaking the ligaments.

Okay, I was exaggerating. But still, it was the hardest practice I've ever been in. First, it was pouring and cold. Second, we had to run like a horse.

We warmed up and jogged for 20 minutes, it was not bad. But then, we had to run uphill 6 times 200 meters. Uphill! Yes, uphill.
For my friends, probably those exercises are okay. But, my friends in track team are BEASTS!!! O yeah...they are so good at that stuff. Running, jumping, throwing...and they've got good endurance too.
But for me....ahahaha...I don't need to mention how much I suffered during that 1,5 hours torment.

Anyhow, my friend's awesome strength and endurance already made me gape. But, I saw another thing that made me gape even larger.
Yes, those REAL runner!

On Monday, High Schoolers had a field trip to Boston Marathon. We just basically sat there and cheered for the runners. It sounds boring, but it wasn't. I mean, it's really cool to see those participants to run, and some of them are just really fast that could make me go "WOW" for 30 seconds.
The marathon is pretty much the same with the one we have in Indonesia. Well, I actually know only one marathon in Indonesia; Malang-Tumpang Marathon.
The Boston marathon went from a town called Popkinton to downtown Boston, which was 26 miles. Twenty miles...yeah, I could never ever ever run for twenty miles!
There are several kinds of event in this marathon; men, women, and the one that mesmerized me most -- disabled people.

I saw them there, driving their arms to spin the wheel faster and faster. When the road goes uphill, I could see them breathing so hard and pushing themselves further and further. Twenty miles is not a long road, it is a wicked long road. I was just hypnotized how they could keep on going for such a long time. You know, HOW did they gain the endurance?

Anyway, there were more 'exciting' participants in the marathon. Some of them were doing the marathon to prove their athletic ability, some of them just doing it for fun, some were doing it to attract people's attention (you'll see why), and some were doing it for charity! What a group of people!

This man was fast!

This is a charity group (I forget what did they call themcelves)

Wonder woman! I wonder if it's hot to wear that outfit for running :p

Red 'afro', I suppose? :p

Hmm...this post is kinda pointless, haha. I just want to show my appreciation upon the athletes, especially the disabled athletes. I just want to let them know (by any chance) that they're awesome! :D

PS: I'll post some more picture later, cuz I don't have it right now.

ta ta for now :)

Nangis Darah T.T

Huhuhuhu

kenapa oh kenapa???

David bakalan ngadain konser di Manchester, NH...
this is what I've been waiting for...
Tapi...
Hiks...konsernya tanggal 24 Agustus!
HUAAAAAA...

aku udah gak di NH dodol!!
*sebel sama yg bikin konser

"I Went to Boston and Now I Can't Speak"

That's how Lew put my illness into words, hahaha

Yesterday I went to Boston. During the day, my flu spread out. In the morning, the problem was only my runny nose. In the end of the day, I couldn't speak anymore. Uhmm...not really. Let's put it this way: it hurts when I speak , hahaha.

Get well soon, eki!

:D

Let's Unveil the Beauty

Yerterday, I went to New England Aquarium with my hostfamily. Before we entered the aquarium, we watched a 3D movie about Underwater World in IMax. The movie was great because of its awesome effect and more importantly, the scenes took place in Indonesia, Papua New Guinea, and Australian waters. The narration that began with, "In the lands of Papua New Guinea and Indonesia..." made me more excited. The entire movie shows the beauty of the seawater world in the Coral Triangle and the Great Barrier Reef. Does it look familiar to me? Uhmm...not really.

I think Indonesia should've been more popular than it is now. Just look at what title it posseses:

1) the 4th most populous country which equals the combined population of all other South East Asian countries.

2) the world's largest archipelagic country

3) the country that has about 75% of all volcanoes in the world

4) the variety of ethnic groups in Indonesia is unparalleled anywhere else in the world (316 ethnic groups).

5) Indonesia is home of the biggest Buddhist temple in the world

6) Indonesia is home of the world's largest lizard

7) There are many more stuff but I can't remember them

The fact is, there are many people who still wondering, "Where is Indonesia?" of those who say nothing when they are asked about what they know about Indonesia.

It's not their fault that they know nothing about Indonesia.

The point is, we, as Indonesians, did not do enough to develop our country's potential. That is why nobody knows about Indonesia's potential and beauty, because we did not unveil it yet.

Now, the biggest power to develop Indonesia lays on Indosian youth's hands. It's us! This is the time to use our utmost potential to develop our country. Ten years from now, I hope we can make a change.

WE CAN DO IT!!!

April 17, 2009: Day of Silence

Today, in the computer lab when I asked Rachel about our semi-formal dance, she didn't answer.

Me: Oh, you can't speak? Are you sick?

Rachel: (shook her head)

Me: (Tilting my head ~ didn't understand what's going on)

Then, Rachel opened Microsoft Words and started to type up her answer.

Rachel: [I'm doing the silence protest]

Me: For what?

Rachel: [Against anti-gay people that continue to bully gays]

Me: Why? (stupid question)

Rachel: [Because at schools there are many students who were bullied by others because they're gay, but the teachers did absolutely nothing]

Me: Really? (I was thinking that she was talking about OUR school. I couldn't believe that there are many anti-gay people in our school)

Rachel: [Yes. There is one 12 years old kid who was killed because his friends always harass him. He was not even gay, but his friends thought that he was]

Me: Killed??? Are you serious?

Rachel: (shook her head) [He killed himself]

Me: ooh. Who is he? (I was still thinking that this poor kid is from our school)

Rachel: (opened some website and showed me an article about that kid)

Me: Oooh...ok!

Frankly, I am impressed by Rachel's dedication about this case. I mean, it's hard not to talk for one day. Even though it won't make a big change, at least this action can open people's eyes and even slap them in the head, just like me.

I'm not a bully, that's for sure. I hate to hurt people's feeling. However, sometimes my words can be offensive to some people, even though I didn't mean to offend them.

Sometimes, when my friends and I were fooling around, they would imitate girlish boy's gesture, then I would say, "Oh my God, You look so gay!"

That's a common joke for me, that means I say it a lot. Now I realize that what I say is not appropriate. I can imagine if a gay person hear me say that. It would probably feels like if someone was joking around me and say to his friend, "OMG, you look like an Asian!" or "Hey, you look like a Moslem!"

I would probably say, "What's wrong with that?"

Back home, my friends also say this kind of joke. They would call each other "Bencong" which means a transgender person. If a transgender person hear them saying that, they'll be hurt too.

This is not about right or wrong, because it's relative and different in every culture. This is all about respecting others.

PS: For more stories about Day of Silence, please visit:

www.dayofsilence.org/ and

http://www.glsen.org/cgi-bin/iowa/all/news/record/2400.html




EDITED:
I found this cool picture of Dougie Poynter (McFly)

Straight A's

Yesterday, I got my 3rd quarter report card. The feeling of getting a report card here and back home is totally different. Back home, we have a special day after final exam when our parents come to school to receive our grades. It is such a big deal. We also have ranks in our class. I always feel nervous in that particular day. I have three ways of spending the day:

1) Watching tv at home without paying attention at what I am watching cuz I get to go pee so often.

2) Go to school and hang around with my friends while my parents are having 'bussiness' with my teacher (read: go to the bathroom together with my friends pretty often)

3) Help around with Journalistic team to give school magazines to every single class. Sometimes, my teacher ask me to put the magazine inside the file folder where our grades are kept. I like this part, cuz I get to see my grades too, hahaha.

Here, report card is not as big deal. The teachers just give the card to us in the library at lunch. If we don't show up, they will come to us and hand the card. Simple, huh?

Back home, we like to see each others grade, we compare our report cards. But here, such a thing is not common, and it's considered to be impolite if you ask someone's grades.

Anyhoo...I was so thrilled to see the first page of my report cards. It's my grade in Junior English. What did I get? A- Yaaay!!! Last quarter I only got B, so....I'm improved, ain't I? ;)

The thrilling past is...I get all A's for the rest of the subjects I take!

OHOHOHO

US History = A+

Math = A

Chemistry = A

Adv Biology = A-

This is as thrilling as last year when I got the 9th academic rank out of 280 eleventh graders in my school.

:D

Now, I feel like studying...

I wanna go home, start my senior year, and off to college as soon as possible....

GANBATTE!!!

^^9

APRIL 15th

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY SIZT!!!

have an awesome one!! :D

I have a present for you, but I'll give it to you when I get home, ok?

*lama amat...

hahaha

Gosip masa SMA dan Obsesi Berat

Waktu jaman-jaman kelas dua dulu, aku sering banget nggosip bareng temen-temenku. Nggosip disini bukan berarti berghibah tentang kejelekan orang lain lho. Itu mah dosa! Nggosip yang udah jadi bagian dari hari-hari kita itu (halah) adalah berbagi cerita tentang hasil observasi kita terhadap lingkungan sekitar (kok jadi kayak biologi?)

Anyhooo...contohnya nih:

Aku: Eh, ada gosip gak?

Temen 1: Ada!

Aku: Apa? Apa? (smangat membara)
Temen 1: Kmaren si X sama si Y bertengkar hebat. Kayaknya mreka mau putus deh. Trus si Y crita ke aku blablablabla....
Aku: (menyimak baik-baik)
Temen 1: Tuh kan! Pacaran nggak enak juga kan...

PS: Obrolan diatas adalah obrolan orang-orang jomblo yang ngaku-ngaku bahagia,, tp emang bahagia kok... (apaan sih?)

Anyhow, kita sering banget ngobrolin kisah-kisah cinta temen-temen di skolah. Sebenernya nggak cuma kisah-kisah cinta sih, kita juga sering ngobrolin guru-guru dan yang lebih sophisticated, cita-cita kita, hahha. Nah, anehnya, kita sendiri gak punya cerita romantis yang bisa digosipin sama orang2. Hahaha...melas amat, lol. Kadang-kadang obrolan kita langsung berubah jadi gini

Temen 1: udahan deh ngobrolin orangnya. Kamu sendiri gimana? pernah suka sm seseorang ga?
Aku: Hmm...pernah sih, tp ceritanya biasa2 aja...gak intense. Kamu?
Temen 1: Pernah sih, pas SD...
*hening*

Hahaha...ngobrolin orang emang lebih gampang.


Btw, bukannya mrasa sok penting sampe nyebar-nyebarin cerita pribadi lewat socialnetworking (padahal selama ini crita-crita pengalama pribadi mulu, haha), tapi aku emang gak pernah ngerasa gimanaaaa gitu sama seseorang. Rasa suka paling cuma lewat doang, ntar kalo udah pindah skolah, rasa sukanya pindah juga, hehehe. Berdasarkan cerita-cerita yang sering kita gosipin sih, keliatan banget kalo kisah-kisah temen-temen lain tuh intense banget. Macem-macem, colorful, kadang-kadang juga emosional. Dalam hati pengen juga sih punya pengalaman smacam itu...lumayan lah buat bahan cerita anak-cucu (lho?)


anyhooo...sebenernya ada sih satu orang yang bisa bikin aku melting sampe brasa kayak jeli (halah...)
Clue: dia imut banget, senyumnya bikin smua orang pengen senyum, rendah hati banget, lucu walaupun lagi gak ngelucu, dan yang paling penting....suaranya kayak malaikat yang lagi nyanyi sambil nabur-naburin uang ke bumi (baca: merdu dan bikin hati seneng)
So, who is this almost-perfect-and-angelic boy?

Tararaaam!

David Archuleta!!! (Runner up American Idol Season 7)

Nah, ini versinya David Archuleta yang lagi pake baju Malay pas doi ngadain konser di Malaysia. Kayak habis sunatan, ya? Tapi tetep imut sih, hihihi
*Jadi pengen nyuruh David pake blangkon sm jarik neh.. :P

Btw, ini nih performance pertamanya David yang bikin aku membeku di depan tipi sampe 10 menit setelah acara Idol selesai (lebai ah)

*melting lagi

aku obsesi ya?
~pertanyaan retoris~

2nd Track Meet

Yesterday I had my second track meet in Interlakes High School.
First thing I noticed: the track is awesome! hahaha (comparing to the one we have in our school ;p)
Anyway, I did 100 M and 200 M this time. My shin is waay better than last week, so, probably I can run better...and yes I could! :D
The last meet, I did 100 M in 21 seconds (soo baaad!!)
Afif said that I should make it to 15 seconds. Hahaha...it's gonna take time for me. But yesterday....I improved! I did it in 18 seconds! hahaha
3 more seconds to go!
It's too bad that Scott (my coach) didn't record my 200 M race...

anyhow, tomorrow I'll have another meet in Gilford. Hopefully I can do better.
Today, since we didn't have practice, Scott asked us to jog for 30 minutes and stretch for 20 minutes. It sounds intense for me. Moreover, the streets around my neighborhood are going up and down. Sooo...I only did 20 minutes running instead, hahaha. A lil bit cheating is ok ;)
In terms of running, tho...
A lil bit of corruption is not ok...

*what am I talking about?
~slapped in the head~

The City is Where the Heart is

With map in my hand, I'm ready to go

People walking by

Skyscrapers standing still, boasting their power

Faces in the crowd ignoring each other

The speed of the city life

Busy Bostonians

The way they keep themselves entertained

The place where people have some fun

Yes, the city is where my heart is :D

First Track Meet

If I can resume my first track meet in two words, that would be: Cold and Intimidating

COLD:

Yesterday was freaking cold. I even brought my winter jacket. It's been raining these past few days, that is why the field were wet and the field event was canceled. Thus, we only had track event. I only did 100 M because my shin still hurts. The bad news is: meet lasts 2,5 hours. We had to wait in this freezing spring weather. We snuggled up under winter jacket and blanket while we were cheering for the racer. Comfy, huh?

:D

INTIMIDATING:

the people were wicked fast!! No wonder I came out as the last one in the finish line, lol.

The next meet is gonna be next Tuesday. Hopefully, my shin is gonna be better by then :)

btw, atlit2 cowok dari skolah lain yang dateng ke track meet kmaren tuh sumpah-bikin-melting-banget! Nggak semuanya sih, ada juga yang berewokan dan berbadan subur, hahaha

:D

Mimpi

Duh,, belakangan ini aku mimpi-mimpi aneh mulu...

ada yang serem, menyedihkan, ada pula yang bikin seneng...

Kemarin aku mimpi didatengin setan, aku lupa wujudnya gimana. Yang jelas, waktu bangun, aku langsung keringetan dan deg-degan banget. Hiyy...

Tiga hari yang lalu, aku juga mimpi serem. Critanya, aku udah balik ke Indonesia. Nah, setelah nyampe, aku dikabari kalo papaku meninggal dunia. Astaghfirullah...

Aku syok banget. Apalagi setelah diceritain kalo beliau meninggal dengan tragis. :(

Dalam mimpi, papa kena serangan jantung. Semua orang mikir kalo beliau udah meninggal. Akhirnya beliau segera dimakamkan.

Setelah dimakamkan, ternyata beliau hidup lagi. Orang2 nyoba menggali makam beliau, tapi semuanya udah terlambat. Beliau meninggal karena kehabisan oksigen di dalam tanah.

Duhh,,, serem banget kan mimpinya?? The freakiest dream I've ever had deh...

Semoga mimpi itu nggak bakalan jadi kenyataan...amiiin

*waktu aku nulis posting ini, aku jadi deg-degan lagi*

The second freakiest dream I've ever had is...waktu di kompleks tempat aku tinggal ada wabah pocong. Setiap malam, banyak pocong berkeliaran. Nah, ceritanya gerombolan pocong itu punya Chief gitu... Ketua RT-ku akhirnya berunding dengan Chief pocong tersebut. Si Chief pocong bilang bahwa mereka bisa meninggalkan kompleks kami kalau kami mempersembahkan sesajian tertentu. Merekapun setuju.

Malam berikutnya, ketua RT sudah mempersiapkan sesajian yang diperlukan. The thing is, mereka butuh seseorang yang bersedia untuk memberikan sesajian itu kepada para gerombolan pocong. Gak jelas juga sih kenapa pak RT nggak mau nyerahin sesajian itu.

Akhirnya, pak RT nunjuk aku deh (aneh ya?). Gak tau kenapa, dalam mimpi aku berani banget. Padahal, biasanya kalo ada sesuatu yang berhubungan dengan pocong, aku langsung keder2 nggak karuan gitu.

However, akhirnya, aku yang didampingi oleh papaku berangkat untuk mempersembahkan sesajian itu. Kami pergi ke kolong jembatan di dekat kompleks rumah. Di sana sudah ada beberapa pocong yang menunggu kedatangan kami. Aku memberanikan diri untuk mendekati mereka. Hwii...face-to-face sama pocong!

Setelah urusan selesai, aku buru-buru ngibrit soalnya nggak tahan ngeliat mukanya si pocong.

Dan, believe it or not...aku sudah dua kali dapet mimpi yang sama...

Creepy banget nggak sih?

Well, aku bukan tipe orang yang percaya sama mimpi. Tapi, bagaimanapun juga, mimpi tetep ngasi efek dalam keseharianku. Kalo malemnya mimpi buruk, seharian aku jadi rada nervous gitu. Kalo mimpinya menyenangkan, seharian aku bisa blushing terus. Haha...what a freak!

Speaking about pleasant dream, I just had one two days ago :)
Ceritanya, David Archuleta di-host di rumah hostfamily-ku! Hahaha...
Mimpinya panjang banget and it felt so real! Bangun tidur aku langung merengut, "Hiks, kok cuma mimpi sih??"

Great News!

I'm so excited right now...

My friend back home just told me that she got accepted in her favorite university. It's been a long journey for her. She is currently in Science class, but the major that she applied is in social studies field, so...it's been so hard.
I was soo happy to hear her news, I was almost screaming ;D

anyway, congratulation for Galuh who got accepted in Accounting Major of University of Indonesia!!!
I'm so happy for you!

and congratulation also for:
1. Bagus and Amik who got accepted in Medical Faculty of UNS
2. Idul and Mbak Dita who got accepted in Nanyang University, Singapore
3. Aga who got accepted in Dentistry of Gajah Mada University
4. Benny, Ardha, and Terra who got accepted in Akamigas Balongan

when most of seniors are still waiting for final exam, you are already accepted in your preferred school...
YOU GUYS ROCK!!!
I'm so proud of you all!!!
:D

I want to be with you

I've been alone so many nights now
And I've been waiting for the stars to fall
I keep holding out for what I don't know
To be with you
Just to be with you

So here I am, staring at the moon tonight
Wondering how you look in this light
Maybe you're somewhere thinking about me, too
To be with you, there's nothing I wouldn't do

And I can imagine two worlds spinning apart
Come together eventually
And when we finally meet I'll know it's right
I'll be at the end of my restless road
But this journey, it was worth the fight
To be with you

Just to be holding you for the very first time
Never letting go
What I wouldn't give to feel that way

Oh, to be with you
And I can imagine two worlds spinning apart
Come together eventually

And when you're standing here in front of me
That's when I know that God does exist
'Cause he will have answered every single prayer
To be with you

--David Archuleta--


hmm...aku kangen....

LAUGH :D

Laugh makes you live longer...

is that true? True or not, I don't care, I love to laugh anyway...
Like today at school...I laughed A LOT!
:D

It began in Chemistry class...
I sat with 4 other people in that class, just say they are T, J, D, and E
J was next to me and T was in front of me.
In the middle of the class, T whispered to J, but it was loud enough for me to hear what he was saying.
T (a boy) : hey J, I can see your nipples!
J (a girl) : what the heck T!!
T : hey D (a boy too), I can see her nipples!
D : *nodding*
J : Stop it!!! (grabbed a notebook and cover her chest with it)
E (a girl) : you guys are so mean!
D : Hmm...(looking at E's boobs)

HUAHAHAHAHA
Thank God I was not involved in the conversation, LOL
PS: they were jus kidding. I could not see anyone's nipples. Hahaha

In the same class, my teacher talked about how alcoholic drink affect your body and the process till you get drunk. He made up a story about party and he made himself a model of a drunk young girl who dance on table. Oh gosh...I couldn't explain exactly what he did, but it was wicked funny :p

In the next class, IMP (Interactive Math Program), the laughter continued. We were talking about artblocks that we take, and one of my friend explained how stupid his artblock is -- just watching a movie about Mother Teresa. And then, one of my other friend asked innocently, "What's the difference between Mother Teresa and Hellen Keller?"
HUAHAHAHAHA
All of us burst in laughter. After we're done laughing, we explained to him how Mother Teresa and Hellen Keller has nothing to do with each other.
My friend said, "Oh, I've always thought that Mother Teresa is blind and has a relationship with Hellen Keller. I'm glad I asked."
Oh my Gosh, that was so adorable...hahaha

In the same class, JP (my teacher) asked about one mathematical term. He always do hangman game everytime he wants us to come up with a math term. It begins with D. Here are some guesses:
My friend : Distribution
My other fried : Distributive
My other other friend : Dammit!

LMAO :D

Situ Gintung

Innalillahi wainnailaihi roji'un....

hari Jumat kemarin, Jade bilang kalo dia baru baca di BBC.com yang meliput musibah banjir di Indonesia. Langsung aku buka internet buat ngecek. BAM! Bendungan jebol di Tangerang. Waduh, deg-degan nih jadinya. Pasalnya, aku punya sodara yang tinggal di Tangerang. Aku langsung kirim email ke mama buat nanyain kabar sodara di Tangerang itu.
Hari berikutnya, mama ngebales, katanya sodara2 di sana alhamdulillah nggak kena musibah. Fffiiuh...

Kemarin aku iseng2 baca Kompas.com dan menemukan banyak artikel tentang musibah ini. Salah satu artikel yang bikin aku merinding itu berjudul "Semoga Mama masuk surga ya?"
T.T
Hiks...aku gak tau gimana rasanya kehilangan orang2 tersayang, apalagi orang tua. Dan aku belum mau tahu. Keluarga adalah satu hal yang worth dying for. Kalo aku bisa milih kapan aku bisa mati, aku mungkin bakalan milih mati sebelum orangtuaku dipanggil Allah SWT.

Anyway, aku turut berduka cita atas musibah yang menimpa sodara2 di Tangerang. Semoga arwah mereka diterima di sisi Allah SWT..... dan bagi keluarga yang ditinggalkan, semoga mereka mendapatkan ketabahan....

"Sesungguhnya kita ini adalah kepunyaan Allah dan kepadaNyalah kita akan dikembalikan"

Postponed Posting = Random Stuff

Hi there!!
.....................
.....................
....................
haha...I forgot what I wanna say :p

What I clearly remember now is the fact that my limbs are so sore, down from my butt until above my ankles. Track practice is killing me slowly, but I'm thrilled cuz I seemed to survive these first 4 days' torment.

O yeah...I started to remember what I wanted to write...

1. Shiori's back to Japan T.T. Yeah...last Friday was her last day in school. She went to my hostfam's house on Saturday but I wasn't there. So, Friday afternoon on the bus was the last time I saw her. This past seven months, we had good times together. Ice cream time, gossip time, shopping time, biking and golfing in Florida, and many other stuff we did together. Some other time she also annoyed me and I annoyed her, but it doesn't matter at all, cuz every relationship has that 'sour' part. Anyway, I'm gonna miss her so much. She said that she's gonna come to Bali this August. I really want to see her there...I hope I'll have time to go since my school will start in August.
By the way, she just sent me a message in Facebook that said there was an airplane accident in Narita Airport right before the plane she was in landed. I'm glad she's okay...
Oh, by the way, before Shiori left, she had a presentation about kimono in Concord. She was planning to show how to wear a kimono. And she made me a model when she was practicing. Here is me in Japanese style:

I realized how short I am -_-!

Shiori and I in 3D theatre, Busch Gardens

2. I had a ski trip to Waterville Valley, NH last weekend. I expected the snow would be so icy and hard to ski on. But, it seems that Waterville's people have got a techineque to keep their customer happy during the last weeks of the season :)
However, I was not very lucky that day. When I tried to warm up and and recall how I usually ski downhill, I fell down so hard because I was going too fast. BAM! My ski fell off. And whoops! there's something wrong about it. The thingy that keeps my feet on the ski dangled hopelessly. It's screws must have been fallen off and gone when I fell down. Darn it!

A crew that happened to be next to me at that moment suggested that I should go to the repair shop. In the shop, I figured out that I need 20 bucks to fix my ski! Yeah...20 bucks to screw back my ski! -_-
The thing was...I only had 7 bucks with me. I went out of the shop and tried to find Linda (my friend's hostmom). But I couldn't find her. I had no choice, so I interrupted Ferdaous who was having a ski lesson to lend 20 bucks. 20 minutes later...I had my skis back. Fffiuuh -_-! I don't know what my hostmom gonna say if I came back with broken skis. She's not gonna kill me or make me pay for that, but she'll be ticked for sure.
Anyhow...skiing was pretty good that day. Even though I didn't get to go up to the top of the mountain (because I didn't have guts for that ;p), I was quite satisfied of myself ;)

After dinner on the same day, Dolores announced that scholarship students had to stay to watch a movie. It was mandatory. Our agency wanted us to watch that movie because we didn't pay for our trip, they paid for us. Well, the movie was probably the thing that they want us to pay back. Anyhow, it was just a movie, no big deal. There were 3 choices of movies: Hotel Rwanda, Osama, and I forget the other one. Hmm...they want us too watch THIS KIND of movie...lol
Dolores told us the duration of each movie, and we picked the shortest one, which happened to be Osama. It was not about Osama bin Ladden, but it has something to do with him since the setting in Afghanistan. The story was about a little girl that was in disguised of being a boy in order to get a job. At that time in Afghanistan (probably ot is right now), women can't work. The girl's father had died, and she only had her mother and grandmother left. Her mother forced her to conceal herself in boy's outfit so she can work for her family. The story was all about her struggle to keep the secret. It was so depressing so I wouldn't tell you what it was. The point is, she ended up being sold to an oldman.
After we watched the movie, Dolores brought up a topic to discuss. My friends from mid-east started to explain how untrue the movie in reality was. There is nothing like that in their country, they said. Yeah..it's true, because this movie is about Afghanistan, and it doesn't represent other Moslem country at all. And then, they started to discuss stereotypes about Moslem. I'm sorry I didn't participate as I was supposed to, cuz I was not in the mood to talk about religion and stuff. You know, talking about it is not comfortable at all. I already got many chance to talk about those stuff in English class and in Senior's religion class. So, yeah, I wouldn't recommend that movie to anybody.

OSAMA: the movie we watched

Back to my ski trip... Waterville Valley is a really cool place to stay during winter time. It reminds me of villages in England, which are so peaceful for me (hahaha...I'm saying it as if I've been to England, which I have not).

On Sunday we're supposed to go skiing again, but I couldn't, cuz the person who gave me a ride needed to go home early. It's ok for me, cuz I didn't lose any money to go home earlier :p
When Kunzang and I loaded the car with our stuff, it was snowing. It was in the parking lot when I saw snowflakes on Kunzang's hair. Waw!! I was soo thrilled to be able to see those pretty flakes again. It could be the last time I saw snowflakes before I go home, that's why I urged Kunzang to stay still while I observe the flakes. Hahha...what a nerd! lol

Before I broke my ski xp



Moosin' around in Waterville Valley: that's exactly what we were doin'

I felt like I'm in an English Village...hahaha *sotoy

Snowflake on my sleeve >.<

3. This week is the first week of track and field. Bwah...it's killing me! If I list what we did in practice, it may not seem that hard, but doing it non-stop without a break can really tear my lungs apart (hyperbole, haha). On the first day we did 10 minutes running without walking, and we raised the time each day, and tomorrow we're gonna run for 20 minutes. I wonder how long we're gonna run in the end of the season.

4. My friends back home are working on their (technically, our) yearbook. The theme is a crowd. So, they would stand in the crowd and someone will take a picture of them. Then, they edit the picture, they will wash out the backgroudn (or probably make it black and white) so the person will be the one in color. My friends took pictures in railway station, downtown Malang, in the middle of an avenue, stadium, etc. Since I can't be there to take picture for yearbook, then I have to take a picture by myself and send it to one of my friend. Even though the result is not as good as my friends', at least I will be on the yearbook :p. I also need to send my baby picture, which happened to be this one:

ain't I cute? :D

5. Pato broke his wrist when he went snowboarding. Gosh, that's what I'm afraid of when I go skiing. Moreover, jade told me that Liam Neeson's (Bryan's cast in Taken the movie) wife has died because she hit her head when she went skiing. She did not wear a helmet at that time. Once, I fell on my head really badly, but --thanks to helmet's inventor -- I'm okay :)

Anyway...Pato is going to have a surgery tomorrow. He said that he wants to see the surgery process, that means he wants to stay awake during the process. Urgh...I wonder how it fells to see someone dig on your flesh, fix your bones, and sew your skin. Gross...

However, get well soon, Pato!

Mud and snow

Wow...there are many things to catch up with...

There's been a lot happening these three days and I didn't have any time to record them here. And I won't have any time this weekend either. After school today, I will go to a ski trip with NH exchangies to Waterville Valley. I don't know how is it like in the mountain. It's been so warm this week, and I bet the surface's gonna be so icy and not fun to ski on. Oh, well...

Anyway, spring is coming...

and I'm not excited -_-!

The picture of spring in my head before I came to NH is a land full of fresh green grass and colorful flowers; the bird will come out from its winter nest and the bears will come back from their hibernation. Shortly, the picture is nice and pretty.

But...what I found so far is mud, mud, and mud. The melting snow mixed with dirt and sand created yucky mud, especially in my school that is located in the middle of nowhere. Hhh...it's been frustrating.

And, honestly...I want more snow...

It might sound crazy because all the people around me are already sick of snow. But, you know...I'm a 'tropical kid', and snow is a greatest thing I've ever seen. I don't know when I'll be able to see snow again. Not anytime soon, for sure... But, I hope this is not the last time...

Please let it snow more...

><

30 DAYS of Being Stereotyped

Last night when I wanted to go to sleep after watching some cute reality show on TV, I was tempted to go through all channels to see what's on. Zip! I got on the right channel. On that channel, I saw a white man wearing an islamic dress plus the hat. It got my attention, so, instead of going to bed, I watched TV for one more hour.

This show is called 30 Days. It's basically giving someone 30 days to try something new, in this case, the show was giving a chance for a Christian man from West Virginia to live as a Moslem with Moslem host family in Michigan. That man, David, wanted to see how is it like to be a Moslem, to learn about the religion, and to prove that the stereotype is wrong.

His journey began in his home state. On his departure day, he wore an Islamic suit to the airport. He confessed that it was the first time he got stares from people. Moreover, he was stopped by the airport security, and they opened and checked his carry-on bags. Again, it was his first time.

In Michigan, he lived with young Pakistani family in an area called Dearborn. One third of the population in that city are Moslem. No wonder if there are 30 mosques in that area.

In the meantime, there was a crew who was walking on the street asking people some question. He asked people about what they have in mind when he say a word. Here are some result from different person:

"Terrorist?" --> "Moslem"

"Moslem?" --> "Terrorist"

"Islam?" --> "Scared"

not impressive...

Anyhow, during David's stay in Michigan, he learned a lot about Islam. An Imam taught him how Christianity, Judaism, and Islam are from the same root; and how Islam believe that Jesus and Abraham are prophets, but not Son of God.

He also learned about some basic custom about politeness, and also basic restriction. He had a small argument with the imam about the prohibition of alcoholic drink. David said that people think that once you drink beer than you'll get drunk rightaway, which is wrong in his opinion. He also said that by drinking alcoholic drinks you cannot harm yourself and other people; so why is it restricted?

The Imam answered that alcoholic drink is addictive; it might leads you from the first glass to the second, from the second to the third, and so on. By the time you're drunk, you don't know what you're doing and you can harm other people without knowing what you do. He also said that you can harm yourself because you break the law of God. I don't agree in that point. You can't say that it's harmful to break God's law to people who doesn't believe in your God or faith. He could have said that alcohol is dangerous for our body if it's consumed in a big amount. It is actually.

David also learned how to pray. He read a praying guide . However, he never really prayed in a correct way. He confessed, "Everytime I tried to pray in Islamic way, I always feel that I betray my religion and family. I feel like praying to another God and turning my back to my God." I think he's a very good Christian.

In the same time, there was another crew walking on the street asking people's opinion. This time it's about prayer calls or adzan. Since there are many mosque in that area, when the pray times come, there would be many praying calls baing broadcasted. The crew wanted to know how non-moslem residents response about this issue.

There is this angry-looking lady who said, "I'm pissed. Our Church's bell doesn't put words to our ears, unlike this praying calls."

They also showed a graffiti in a wall that says, "Religion is a fraud."

Hmm...

David got a chance to have a party with his new Moslem friends. He admitted that he was surprised how these people defined party. David defines party as music, people, food, and beers. But that Moslem community defines party as an activity to get together, in David's case, there was no women and beer. They were just playing basketball together, eating, and also praying.

In David's last days, he got a final project. He had to go to the street and ask people to sign a petition. I didn't get what was the petition about, but I guess it was about a promise not to stereotype certain people, not only Moslem. It was the hardest time for David because people kept reject his petition. He even had an argument with a man on the street about stereotyping people. David tried to explain how you can't stereoptype a big amount of people just because of a few people's action. That man on the street ended his argument with, "Ok, who are the terrorist today? Moslem."

However, the whole 30 days of experiencing a new life makes David have a better idea about Islam and Moslem. The people he met during his stay is far from the stereotype. Thus, in the end of the show, he said, "You can't stereotype 1.5 billion of people for an action of five."

I hope for those who still see things from one single perspective can get an enlightment about how things really are.

Courts, Lawyer, and Cold Weather

Hey, what's up people?

I'm hungry....

anyway...

I've got tons to write. Yesterday I came home at about 4 o'clock, and then I did stuff I don't remember until 10.30 pm, worked on US History homework, took a shower, and took off to my dream, so I didn't have time to write anything about what had happened on the day.

I skipped school today (yay!) because I had a field trip to NH Supreme Court with scholarship exchangies. I stayed over Mariya's house the night before because my hostmom couldn't take me to Concord in the morning. In Thursday morning, Debra (Mariya's cool host aunt) dropped us off in the supreme court. The thing is, there are 2 supreme courts in Concord, Federal Supreme Court and non-federal one. We didn't know which one we were supposed to be cuz Dolores didn't give us any clue about that. There we are, in a wicked cold morning that could stab your throat, without any shelter, and no one was coming. We asked the security guy but he didn't have any idea about the field trip we mentioned. We panicked. I insisted that we should wait a little bit more but Mariya wanted to go to her high school to call Dolore (both of us don't have cell phone). Since no one showed up, I agreed to go to the high school. It was a 15 minutes walk. It would no be bad at all if there was no freezing wind that peel your skin off. Ugh, it was terrible!

So, we called Dolores multiple times but she didn't pick it up. We assumed that she was already in the court session. Then, Mariya called her hostmom and she gave Mariya the court's phone number. I happened to call the court and ask if I can talk to Dolores. And yes I could. Hhh...I was so relieved to find out that Dolores is gonna pick us up after the session is over. But when is it exactly gonna be? She was not sure.

We were supposed to meet her in a pizzeria in front of the school, but the sign says that it is closed until 1o am. We waited inside the school and walked around the school.

At 10.05 we came back to the pizzeria but it was still closed. We waited for about 10 minutes until a man came to us and said that it opens at 11. Dammit!! Why the hell did you write that it opens at 10 when it opens at 11???

I was so pissed. I wanna come back to the school but Mariya said we'd better not because we're gonna miss Dolores otherwise.

After 15 minutes waiting in Artic, somebody (Dolores' friend) came and took us away from that condemned pizzeria. Thank God, she's the woman of the day!

Inside the court

In front of New Hampshire Supreme Court

With the judges

Well, today was pretty fun and boring in some part (in the session ;P)

If I can pick something that I learned today, I will say:

I don't wanna be a lawyer, hahaha

:D

a little announcement

Today, we're having an additional family member: Teresia from Germany!
She's 25 years old and is joining a teacher internship...

Wish you having a great time here with us =)

MyPersonality.info Badge

I'm Saving My Day

SAVE THE DAY - David Archuleta

Tied to the tracks and I hear you call

Your voice is shaking

The train is coming faster than you thought

and there's no escaping it

And you think that you know

How the end of the story goes

That's the page I re-wrote

And I've taken away the ropes

There's more hope than you'll ever know

So keep breathing, I say that I'd always be there

Now I mean it more than ever before

There's a future worth fighting for

So don't be scared

I know how you must be feeling

With no one to help you carry the pain

I'm coming to save the day

Hands on the clock are standing still

But your heart is racing

You're loosing your grip on the window sill

Going down by the weight of it

And you pray for belief

As you lie on the bathroom floor

As you wait you can see

There's a light underneath it all

This is the day you've been waiting for

So keep breathing, I say that I'd always be there

Now I mean it more than ever before

There's a future worth fighting for

So don't be scared

I know how you must be feeling

With no one to help you carry the pain

We're finally breaking into the daylight

In the warmth of the sun

I will stand by your side

Till your fear passes on

So just look in my eyes

And baby try to hold on

And you find it won't be long

So keep breathing, I say that I'd always be there

Now I mean it more than ever before

There's a future worth fighting for

So don't be scared

I know how you must be feeling

With no one to help you carry the pain

I'm coming to save the day

Coming to save the day

There's a future worth fighting for

So don't be scared

I know how you must be feeling

With no one to help you carry the pain

It won't be long

Tied to the tracks and I hear you call

Your voice is shaking ..

Eki is Home and Upset

Finally I'm back in New Hampsha...

I was surprised to see how much snow fell down while we're gone...it's a lot!!

The path to our front door is now narrower and the snow in both sides are now in the same height of my hip.

Btw, I am so upset right now. I walked into my room and found a messy and dirty room that I did not leave the other day. I left my room clean and the bed was made, but now the blanket is all over the place and the pillows are on the floor and there are many dirt on my carpet. Who the hell did this???

My hostmom said that it could be her assisstants daugthers who did this. She was not sure about that, but who else could it be? She is gonna find it out tomorrow...

Let's see who is the asshole...

Florida Day 13: Time to go :(

This is the last night of our vacation in Florida...
I'm so saaaaad :(
It's time to go back to snow and cloudy mood of New Hampsha...
It's time to get a back sore after shoveling snow...
It's time to go back to school (Nooooo!!!!)

By the way, I really want to go swimming for the last time in Florida...
but Zhanar is still talking to her boyfriend on skype and I don't want to go by myself.
Hiks...
T.T

this is the song of the day:
Mcfly- The Last Song

Another Awkward and Confusing Conversation

Duh, lagi-lagi aku terjebak dalam percakapan yang canggung dan membingungkan. Bukannya aku nggak suka, cuma rasanya awkward aja, apalagi kalo ngomongin sesuatu yang sensitive dengan seseorang yang punya opposite argument. Seperti malam ini...
Aku dan Zhanar jalan-jalan kayak biasanya, menikmati hari-hari terakhir di Florida. Setelah selesai keliling-keliling dan foto-foto, kita mampir ke hot tub, nyamperin Pato and Jade. Kita ngobrol-ngobrol nggak jelas di pinggir hot tub sampe akhirnya para cowok pindah ke hot tub sebelah buat nyamperin cewek-cewek berbikini. Tinggal kita berdua...
Kita ngomongin macem2 sampe akhirnya nyenggol masalah pacaran. Dia nanya gimana pacaran di Indonesia. Ya aku bilang kalo kita punya value-value yang membatasi kita dari pre-marital sex. Trus dia nanya, kalo cium bibir sama pelukan boleh nggak. Aku bilang kalo itu semua berdasarkan pada personal limitation aja. Berdasarkan agama dan budaya kita nggak seharusnya ngelakuin hal-hal yang menjurus ke adultery, nah, soal hal-hal apa sajakah yang masuk kategori itu, semuanya tergantung pada diri masing-masing. Personally, aku mikir kalo aku meluk cowok, itu nggak bakal bikin kita langsung horny dsb. For me, it's fine. Kalo di Indonesia, aku emang nggak sembarangan meluk2 cowok. Tapi, kalo disini ada temen cowok yang mau meluk, aku nggak terlalu keberatan, asal meluknya ringan-ringan aja, nggak yang serem-serem gitu. Asalkan kita tau sikon, menurutku itu nggak masalah. Lagian, arti sebuah pelukan kan berbeda di setiap budaya.
Nah, setelah ada sedikit argumen tentang mengategorikan hal-hal fisik itu baik atau enggak, dia (aku emang menghindari untuk menyebut nama) nanya lagi, gimana bisa kamu pacaran tapi nggak pernah ciuman atau pelukan?
Nah, pertanyaan ini juga pernah dilontarkan hostsisterku yang masih berumur 12 tahun.
Aku bilang...well, di Indonesia juga banyak kok anak-anak muda yang pacaran trus ciuman dan pelukan,, tapi nggak di depan publik. yang perlu digarisbawahi adalah: berdasarkan agama kita nggak seharusnya melakukan itu.
Dia nanya lagi, "ya itulah yang aku pengen tau, gimana caranya kamu bisa pacaran kalo kamu dilarang ciuman en pelukan sama agamamu. Sebenernya pacaran itu boleh nggak sih?"
Aku bilang, "Jujur aku nggak pernah denger ada hukum pasti soal pacaran yang seketat hukum nggak boleh mabok atau makan babi. Asalkan kamu jauh-jauh dari zina sih menurutku oke-oke aja. Soal ciuman dan pelukan, kamu pacaran nggak cuma buat ngedapetin kontak fisik kan?"
Dia nanya lagi, "Lha terus kamu kalo pacaran ngapain aja dong kalo nggak boleh ciuman ma pelukan ma having sex? Terus, apa bedanya dong kamu jalan bareng temen cowokmu sama jalan bareng cowokmu?"
Hmm...aku bingung deh sama cara pikir orang-orang...
"Ya beda lahh...kalo sama temen, kamu kan nggak ada feeling apa-apa...kalo sama pacar kan kamu punya perasaan sayang..."
Dia nambahin, "Tapi sayang itu kan juga bisa tumbuh kalo km pelukan...bisa gandengan tangan. Kalo kamu nggak ngapa-ngapain, gimana kamu bisa suka dan sayang?"
Aku njawab, "Ya kan kamu bisa suka dari personality-nya..."
Aku rada speechless di bagian ini... Sebelum bisa nambahin, dia nanya lagi...
"Trus, kamu kok bisa married sebelum kamu having sex sama dia?"
Nah, lo... Rasanya aku pengen tereak "YA BISA LAAAAH!!!!"
Hh...sabar...sabar...
Aku akhirnya njawab, "Ya kan kamu married karena kamu cinta sama dia, toh pas malam pertama akhirnya kamu bisa berhubungan seks juga kan."
Dia nambahin, "Gimana kalo dia nggak enak diajakin having sex?"
Jreeeeeng....
Mak Erot masi idup kan??

Dia nambahin sebelum aku bisa njawab apa-apa, "Itu kan penting banget..."
Aku bilang, "Masalah begitu kan masi bisa diperbaiki..."
Dia ketawa...
-_-!

Dia nanya lagi, "Trus kalo kamu punya pilihan antara dua cowok buat jadi suamimu, gimana milihnya dong kalo kamu nggak boleh having sex?"
"Ya kan bisa diliat dari personalitynya, penghasilannya, tampangnya, dll. Nggak mesti harus 'nyobain' dulu kan?"
Duh...sumpah deh...masa ya mau milih yang mana yang lebih gede? ckckckck
Aku nambahin, "Back home, seks itu nggak sepenting disini."

What's so wrong about this damn world? Aku-nya yang konservatif atau orang-orang yang berpikiran dangkal?

Temen-temenku di skolah pernah ngomongin siapa aja yang masi virgin, aku cuma mesem-mesem aja. Trus, waktu kita ngisi quiz di internet, ada pertanyaan "Apakah anda berniat untuk berhubungan seks sebelum menikah?", kebanyakan temenku njawab, "Berniat? Oh...sure"

Anybody can give me an answer for these whole damn things?

Florida Day 11: LMAO

Today when Florian practiced his Bahasa Indonesia for our presentation, he said "Selamat pagi bapak-bapak dan ibu-ibu" (which means 'Good morning ladies and gentlemen').
Hearing those words, Zhanar who was lying down on her bed laughed so bad. "Hihihihihi" was her naughty laugh.
We asked, "What's so funny?"
She replied, "Do you know what 'ibu' means in Russian?"
"What? What?" Florian and I asked.
She continued laughing for several minutes and added, "It's so dirty..."
"In Russian, ibu means 'I'm f*cking".....HUAHAHAHAHAHA
All of us burst in laughter.

Then, if you say Ibu Siti (which means Mrs. Siti in Indonesian), that means "I'm f*cking Siti" in Russian....
Oh, dear...
:p

Masalah Persholatan

Sholat adalah kebutuhan, bukan kewajiban... Tapi apa jadinya kalo sholatmu itu cuma sebuah kebiasaan?

Sholat di negeri orang emang rada susah, apalagi kalau penduduknya bukan mayoritas Islam. Nggak ada masjid, musholla, ataupun adzan. Kalau lagi nggak pergi kemana-mana sih tinggal ngecek jadwal sholat di islamicfinder.org trus sholat di kamar deh. Tapi kalo lagi travelling seharian mau sholat dimana? Kalo travellingnya sendirian, kita bisa ngecek masjid terdekat lewat internet trus mampir deh. Kalo travellingnya bareng-bareng dan udah dijadwal ketat gimana dong? Mau permisi ke masjid juga nggak enak rasanya, mau nyari tempat yang bisa dipake sholat juga susah, apalagi kalo nggak di kota besar. Hhmm...kalo gitu sih masalah kreativitas aja. Tapi, kira2 Allah maklum gak ya?

Yap, banyak banget pertanyaan2 yang muncul di kepala kalo udah nyangkut masalah persholatan. "Gimana", "dimana", "kapan", dan "boleh gak ya" langsung berlompatan di pikiran kita. Keterbatasan ilmu agama yang kita punya sangat mempengaruhi hal-hal seperti ini. Seperti diriku yang dangkal banget ilmu agamanya ini, selalu diserang pertanyaan2 macam itu, tapi selalu berakhir dengan jawaban "Insya Allah gak papa deh, yang penting niatnya baik" Hahaha. Mau gimana lagi dong? -_-!

Aku sering banget dapet masalah persholatan ini selama homestay-ku di Amrik sejauh ini. Hostfam-ku yang non-muslim dan komunitas sekitar yang jarang banget ada orang muslimnya menjadi salah satu alasan. Kalau lagi ada acara bareng Exchangies yang lain, awalnya aku agak lega, kan banyak siswa muslimnya tuh. Tapi, setelah aku mencari tahu, berawal dengan iseng2 nanya ke beberapa siswa muslim, "Eh, kamu sholat gak?" atau langsung to the point, "Eh, sholat yuk!", I finally found out...ternyata mereka gak sholat! Or...not that I know of. Aku juga pernah nginep sama temen muslimku selama 3 hari dan aku gak pernah liat dia sholat.
Malahan, ada temen muslimku yang bilang, "Aku nggak sholat soalnya aku nggak ngerasa pengen dan butuh sholat. Ntar kalo aku udah dewasa dan ngerasa pengen sholat, ya udah aku sholat deh." Well, dia ngomongnya gak persis kayak gitu sih, tapi berdasarkan English comprehensionku ya artinya semacam itu. Aku jadi mikir, jreeng...ada ya hukum kayak gitu?

Anyhow, balik lagi ke masalah persholatanku. Karena susahnya sholat dengan tetap memperhatikan jadwal kegiatan orang-orang sekitar dan keadaan fisik ruangan, aku kadang-kadang memperbolehkan diriku sendiri untuk merangkap sholat walaupun nggak lagi bepergian jauh dan tayammum karena di kamar mandi lagi banyak orang jadi nggak mungkin kalo mau nyelup2in kaki di wastafel. Well...aku list aja deh apa aja yang pernah aku lakuin...

1. Hostfamku kadang2 suka ngajakin makan di luar. Kita berangkat sebelum maghrib dan pulang pas isya. Akhirnya, aku menjamak sholat padahal jarak rumah-restoran cuma 20 menit perjalanan.
   
2. Waktu ikutan high ropes course bareng exchangies yang lain, aku terjebak dalam perlengkapan security yang susah banget makenya. Kegiatan itu dimulai sekitar waktu dhuhur dan berakhir sampe maghrib. Karena aku udah bundled up di tali temali security plus winter jacket, akhirnya aku tayamum deh. Apalagi waktu itu aku baru selesai coursenya pas udah hampir gelap. Jarak antara tempat kita menginap dan tempat course-nya agak jauh. Akhirnya, aku lari-lari di salju yang cukup dalem dan nyamperin lodge kosong terdekat di tengah hutan dan sholat di situ deh...
3. Christmas party-nya exchangies diadakan di sebuah high school cafetaria. Ketika tiba waktu dhuhur, aku sholat di ruangan penyimpanan bahan makanan (karena kita nggak boleh masuk ke area high school-nya). Sholat dengan dikelilingi tumpukan boks2 berisi tepung dan beras...hahaha, sounds exciting.
4. Aku sempat diundang ke party-nya temenku, di rumah dia aja sih. Kita nonton film, sledding, sama makan-makan gitu ceritanya. Waktu sholat pun tiba. Aku minta ijin buat sholat di kamarnya. Tapi...aduuh, kamarnya kotor banget buk. Ceritanya, dia animal-lover gitu, jadi di kamarnya ada banyak kandang burung dan kadal. Jadilah banyak pup burung di lantai. Akhirnya aku sholat di kasur deh...karena ngerasa nggak sopan kalo berdiri di kasur, jadilah aku sholat sambil duduk.
5. Sepulang sekolah, aku selalu naik bus sekolah. Perjalanan yang ditempuh adalah satu jam. Bulan Desember-Januari sempat membawa masalah. Pasalnya, aku sampai di rumah pada jam 4.30 pm, nah...pada bulan Desember-Januari, waktu maghrib adalah sebelum jam 4.30. Aku nggak sempet sholat ashar di sekolah karena sepulang sekolah aku harus ngejar bus. Jadilah, aku sholat di bus.
6. Hari pertama di Busch Garden aku habiskan tanpa ada halangan, all day fun, karena aku lagi dapet, jadinya gak perlu susah2 nyari tempat sholat. Tapi seminggu kemudian ketika kami semua kembali ke Busch Garden karena dapet tiket gratis, aku udah suci. Jadi, di tengah hari, aku misah sama temen2ku buat nyari tempat sholat. Dan aku berakhir sholat di ruang first aid. Hihihi...untung ibu susternya baik hati. Yah, itulah tips buat temen2 yang mau pergi ke amusement park yang nggak punya musholla: sholat di first aid room aja...nyaman dan sepi, hehehe.

Yah, itulah sebagian cerita yang aku punya. Kadang-kadang aku ngerasa seneng banget setelah melalui berbagai halangan (lebay) sebelum akhirnya bisa sholat, soalnya berasa lega banget. Tapi, masih ada yang mengganjal di hati; sebenernya aku ini sholat karena kebutuhan, kewajiban, atau cuma kebiasaan ya?
Papaku pernah bilang, "Jadikan sholat itu kebutuhanmu" Tapi, sejauh ini aku ngerasa sholat itu kewajiban. Kalo aku nggak sholat, emang merasa berdosa dan ngerasa ada yang ilang, tapi kalo aku mau sholat, aku masih mikir "Aduuh, ntar nggak enak diliatin orang-orang" atau "Aduh, aku males njelasin ke ibu suster itu kalo aku harus sholat 5 kali sehari" atau "Aduh, kalo sholat sekarang, ntar nggak bisa naik roller coaster bareng temen-temen" or so on.
Rasanya susaaaah banget buat mengubah feeling itu. Duh, gimana ya buk? Kasi hidayah dong...
Tapi kata papa hidayah itu untuk dicari, bukan untuk ditunggu...
What should I do?