"Rainbow"

I have been thinking about homosexuality for a long time. Not that I am becoming a lesbian or something...I just want to understand how different people in the world see it. I had a wicked long email thread with my American friend about this issue. Apparently, we have a slightly different point of view about this. If someone who happens to read this post is a gay or lesbian or anybody else , don't be offended, I'm just a confused kid who is trying to understand the world ;)

So, here is how I think about homosexuality... Based on my background culture and religion, I would say that homosexuality is not "normal". I put "quotes" on it because normality is very relative, depending on people's perspective, culture, religion, and commonness. Commonness, is that a word?

Well, anyway, I say that homosexuality is not normal because I grew up in a community where homosexuality is not exposed. Frankly, I have never known any homosexual people before I came to America. Second, I grew up in a religious community. I remember that Quran mentions the indecency between two men, but I don't know exactly how are we suppose to interpret it. Click here for some more Quran quotes about homosexuality.

My friend agrees about the relativity of normality, but she said "Not normal doesn't mean it's wrong." Well, I am not sure I agree with this. I mean, what is it that make you say something is wrong? It is (again) different in different culture and custom.

I am sorry, but I think being homosexual is against the nature. I mean... men are created to be with women, water is created to overcome fire, etc etc. But, when I think about it... I realize, homosexuality comes naturally. You cannot choose who are you going to fall in love with. If you happen to fall in love with someone with the same gender, what can you do?

I was being so insensitive when I told my friend that I believe that gay people can "change" their homosexuality. My friend was outraged, I guess. She said that it's hurtful to even say that. She said that it's so hateful when people say that "straight" is normal and everyone who is not straight has to change themselves. She doesn't believe that people can truly change being gay. They can oppress and supress it until they drive themseves crazy, but someday they will act out of it. She said, "People are people, just because someone is against it, or disagrees with gay marriage, or gay people in general doesn't mean they should make them, or even tell them that they can "change". it's ridiculous to even say that"

Oooh...I got slapped in my face. When I said that, I don't mean that I want to make them change or anything. I just believe that they can. I am not a preacher or something, I have no power to tell people what to do; I dont' even want to.

I don't know...I am so sad to see how the way I think is so hurtful for other people...but what am I supposed to do? This is how I believe it...

I am probably now being so conservative, but I am trying my best to be open-minded. I know that nobody cares about my opinion or what I think about something, so I just say what I have in my mind.

So, after a long thought, I came to a personal conclusion. If someday I ever fall in love with a girl, I would try my best to fall out of love (even if people say it's impossible). But, I will never be a homophobic person. I totally respect all people regardless their point of view about everything, including homosexuality.

As I wrote on my previous post "Day of Silence", I hate people who discriminate gay or lesbian. I respect their choice and I don't want to hurt their feelings.

Well, yeah...that's a bit of my confusion..
God... please help me fathom this...

---------------------------------------------------------------

O yeah... related to the topic, I have a little story and pictures to share ;)

Last month, I had a trip with other NH exchangies to Provincetown, MA. Provincetown (P-town for instance) is a very neat and pretty town. It is not big but lovely. It's so nice just to walk downtown and go to the stores. P-town is wellknown as a big community of gay-lesbian. Yeah, it is very obvious. Beside there are many couples that you can meet, there are many gay-pride-flags being displayed in P-town stores and homes.

I found this eccentric fountain in front of a bauty salon (if I'm not mistaken). At first, I only found it interesting because of the barbies. Then, when I saw the picture I took, I noticed that there is the more interesting thing about the barbies. Can you see it? Ah, P-town is soo unique ^^

Yup, there are many many accesories with rainbow colors on it. As you can read on the picture, the rainbow is a symbol of gay pride. Oh yeah...and I bought a postcard with rainbow on it...for souvenir ;)

photo courtesy of sfPhotocraft

A picture of rainbow flag on one of P-town's store

I was half-dead, but how about them?

Two days ago, I was dying! I'm telling you...track practice two days ago was killing me! Tearing my pleuras apart from my lungs, trying to blow my heart away like a grenade, and pulling off my legs and breaking the ligaments.

Okay, I was exaggerating. But still, it was the hardest practice I've ever been in. First, it was pouring and cold. Second, we had to run like a horse.

We warmed up and jogged for 20 minutes, it was not bad. But then, we had to run uphill 6 times 200 meters. Uphill! Yes, uphill.
For my friends, probably those exercises are okay. But, my friends in track team are BEASTS!!! O yeah...they are so good at that stuff. Running, jumping, throwing...and they've got good endurance too.
But for me....ahahaha...I don't need to mention how much I suffered during that 1,5 hours torment.

Anyhow, my friend's awesome strength and endurance already made me gape. But, I saw another thing that made me gape even larger.
Yes, those REAL runner!

On Monday, High Schoolers had a field trip to Boston Marathon. We just basically sat there and cheered for the runners. It sounds boring, but it wasn't. I mean, it's really cool to see those participants to run, and some of them are just really fast that could make me go "WOW" for 30 seconds.
The marathon is pretty much the same with the one we have in Indonesia. Well, I actually know only one marathon in Indonesia; Malang-Tumpang Marathon.
The Boston marathon went from a town called Popkinton to downtown Boston, which was 26 miles. Twenty miles...yeah, I could never ever ever run for twenty miles!
There are several kinds of event in this marathon; men, women, and the one that mesmerized me most -- disabled people.

I saw them there, driving their arms to spin the wheel faster and faster. When the road goes uphill, I could see them breathing so hard and pushing themselves further and further. Twenty miles is not a long road, it is a wicked long road. I was just hypnotized how they could keep on going for such a long time. You know, HOW did they gain the endurance?

Anyway, there were more 'exciting' participants in the marathon. Some of them were doing the marathon to prove their athletic ability, some of them just doing it for fun, some were doing it to attract people's attention (you'll see why), and some were doing it for charity! What a group of people!

This man was fast!

This is a charity group (I forget what did they call themcelves)

Wonder woman! I wonder if it's hot to wear that outfit for running :p

Red 'afro', I suppose? :p

Hmm...this post is kinda pointless, haha. I just want to show my appreciation upon the athletes, especially the disabled athletes. I just want to let them know (by any chance) that they're awesome! :D

PS: I'll post some more picture later, cuz I don't have it right now.

ta ta for now :)

Let's Unveil the Beauty

Yerterday, I went to New England Aquarium with my hostfamily. Before we entered the aquarium, we watched a 3D movie about Underwater World in IMax. The movie was great because of its awesome effect and more importantly, the scenes took place in Indonesia, Papua New Guinea, and Australian waters. The narration that began with, "In the lands of Papua New Guinea and Indonesia..." made me more excited. The entire movie shows the beauty of the seawater world in the Coral Triangle and the Great Barrier Reef. Does it look familiar to me? Uhmm...not really.

I think Indonesia should've been more popular than it is now. Just look at what title it posseses:

1) the 4th most populous country which equals the combined population of all other South East Asian countries.

2) the world's largest archipelagic country

3) the country that has about 75% of all volcanoes in the world

4) the variety of ethnic groups in Indonesia is unparalleled anywhere else in the world (316 ethnic groups).

5) Indonesia is home of the biggest Buddhist temple in the world

6) Indonesia is home of the world's largest lizard

7) There are many more stuff but I can't remember them

The fact is, there are many people who still wondering, "Where is Indonesia?" of those who say nothing when they are asked about what they know about Indonesia.

It's not their fault that they know nothing about Indonesia.

The point is, we, as Indonesians, did not do enough to develop our country's potential. That is why nobody knows about Indonesia's potential and beauty, because we did not unveil it yet.

Now, the biggest power to develop Indonesia lays on Indosian youth's hands. It's us! This is the time to use our utmost potential to develop our country. Ten years from now, I hope we can make a change.

WE CAN DO IT!!!

April 17, 2009: Day of Silence

Today, in the computer lab when I asked Rachel about our semi-formal dance, she didn't answer.

Me: Oh, you can't speak? Are you sick?

Rachel: (shook her head)

Me: (Tilting my head ~ didn't understand what's going on)

Then, Rachel opened Microsoft Words and started to type up her answer.

Rachel: [I'm doing the silence protest]

Me: For what?

Rachel: [Against anti-gay people that continue to bully gays]

Me: Why? (stupid question)

Rachel: [Because at schools there are many students who were bullied by others because they're gay, but the teachers did absolutely nothing]

Me: Really? (I was thinking that she was talking about OUR school. I couldn't believe that there are many anti-gay people in our school)

Rachel: [Yes. There is one 12 years old kid who was killed because his friends always harass him. He was not even gay, but his friends thought that he was]

Me: Killed??? Are you serious?

Rachel: (shook her head) [He killed himself]

Me: ooh. Who is he? (I was still thinking that this poor kid is from our school)

Rachel: (opened some website and showed me an article about that kid)

Me: Oooh...ok!

Frankly, I am impressed by Rachel's dedication about this case. I mean, it's hard not to talk for one day. Even though it won't make a big change, at least this action can open people's eyes and even slap them in the head, just like me.

I'm not a bully, that's for sure. I hate to hurt people's feeling. However, sometimes my words can be offensive to some people, even though I didn't mean to offend them.

Sometimes, when my friends and I were fooling around, they would imitate girlish boy's gesture, then I would say, "Oh my God, You look so gay!"

That's a common joke for me, that means I say it a lot. Now I realize that what I say is not appropriate. I can imagine if a gay person hear me say that. It would probably feels like if someone was joking around me and say to his friend, "OMG, you look like an Asian!" or "Hey, you look like a Moslem!"

I would probably say, "What's wrong with that?"

Back home, my friends also say this kind of joke. They would call each other "Bencong" which means a transgender person. If a transgender person hear them saying that, they'll be hurt too.

This is not about right or wrong, because it's relative and different in every culture. This is all about respecting others.

PS: For more stories about Day of Silence, please visit:

www.dayofsilence.org/ and

http://www.glsen.org/cgi-bin/iowa/all/news/record/2400.html




EDITED:
I found this cool picture of Dougie Poynter (McFly)

Situ Gintung

Innalillahi wainnailaihi roji'un....

hari Jumat kemarin, Jade bilang kalo dia baru baca di BBC.com yang meliput musibah banjir di Indonesia. Langsung aku buka internet buat ngecek. BAM! Bendungan jebol di Tangerang. Waduh, deg-degan nih jadinya. Pasalnya, aku punya sodara yang tinggal di Tangerang. Aku langsung kirim email ke mama buat nanyain kabar sodara di Tangerang itu.
Hari berikutnya, mama ngebales, katanya sodara2 di sana alhamdulillah nggak kena musibah. Fffiiuh...

Kemarin aku iseng2 baca Kompas.com dan menemukan banyak artikel tentang musibah ini. Salah satu artikel yang bikin aku merinding itu berjudul "Semoga Mama masuk surga ya?"
T.T
Hiks...aku gak tau gimana rasanya kehilangan orang2 tersayang, apalagi orang tua. Dan aku belum mau tahu. Keluarga adalah satu hal yang worth dying for. Kalo aku bisa milih kapan aku bisa mati, aku mungkin bakalan milih mati sebelum orangtuaku dipanggil Allah SWT.

Anyway, aku turut berduka cita atas musibah yang menimpa sodara2 di Tangerang. Semoga arwah mereka diterima di sisi Allah SWT..... dan bagi keluarga yang ditinggalkan, semoga mereka mendapatkan ketabahan....

"Sesungguhnya kita ini adalah kepunyaan Allah dan kepadaNyalah kita akan dikembalikan"

30 DAYS of Being Stereotyped

Last night when I wanted to go to sleep after watching some cute reality show on TV, I was tempted to go through all channels to see what's on. Zip! I got on the right channel. On that channel, I saw a white man wearing an islamic dress plus the hat. It got my attention, so, instead of going to bed, I watched TV for one more hour.

This show is called 30 Days. It's basically giving someone 30 days to try something new, in this case, the show was giving a chance for a Christian man from West Virginia to live as a Moslem with Moslem host family in Michigan. That man, David, wanted to see how is it like to be a Moslem, to learn about the religion, and to prove that the stereotype is wrong.

His journey began in his home state. On his departure day, he wore an Islamic suit to the airport. He confessed that it was the first time he got stares from people. Moreover, he was stopped by the airport security, and they opened and checked his carry-on bags. Again, it was his first time.

In Michigan, he lived with young Pakistani family in an area called Dearborn. One third of the population in that city are Moslem. No wonder if there are 30 mosques in that area.

In the meantime, there was a crew who was walking on the street asking people some question. He asked people about what they have in mind when he say a word. Here are some result from different person:

"Terrorist?" --> "Moslem"

"Moslem?" --> "Terrorist"

"Islam?" --> "Scared"

not impressive...

Anyhow, during David's stay in Michigan, he learned a lot about Islam. An Imam taught him how Christianity, Judaism, and Islam are from the same root; and how Islam believe that Jesus and Abraham are prophets, but not Son of God.

He also learned about some basic custom about politeness, and also basic restriction. He had a small argument with the imam about the prohibition of alcoholic drink. David said that people think that once you drink beer than you'll get drunk rightaway, which is wrong in his opinion. He also said that by drinking alcoholic drinks you cannot harm yourself and other people; so why is it restricted?

The Imam answered that alcoholic drink is addictive; it might leads you from the first glass to the second, from the second to the third, and so on. By the time you're drunk, you don't know what you're doing and you can harm other people without knowing what you do. He also said that you can harm yourself because you break the law of God. I don't agree in that point. You can't say that it's harmful to break God's law to people who doesn't believe in your God or faith. He could have said that alcohol is dangerous for our body if it's consumed in a big amount. It is actually.

David also learned how to pray. He read a praying guide . However, he never really prayed in a correct way. He confessed, "Everytime I tried to pray in Islamic way, I always feel that I betray my religion and family. I feel like praying to another God and turning my back to my God." I think he's a very good Christian.

In the same time, there was another crew walking on the street asking people's opinion. This time it's about prayer calls or adzan. Since there are many mosque in that area, when the pray times come, there would be many praying calls baing broadcasted. The crew wanted to know how non-moslem residents response about this issue.

There is this angry-looking lady who said, "I'm pissed. Our Church's bell doesn't put words to our ears, unlike this praying calls."

They also showed a graffiti in a wall that says, "Religion is a fraud."

Hmm...

David got a chance to have a party with his new Moslem friends. He admitted that he was surprised how these people defined party. David defines party as music, people, food, and beers. But that Moslem community defines party as an activity to get together, in David's case, there was no women and beer. They were just playing basketball together, eating, and also praying.

In David's last days, he got a final project. He had to go to the street and ask people to sign a petition. I didn't get what was the petition about, but I guess it was about a promise not to stereotype certain people, not only Moslem. It was the hardest time for David because people kept reject his petition. He even had an argument with a man on the street about stereotyping people. David tried to explain how you can't stereoptype a big amount of people just because of a few people's action. That man on the street ended his argument with, "Ok, who are the terrorist today? Moslem."

However, the whole 30 days of experiencing a new life makes David have a better idea about Islam and Moslem. The people he met during his stay is far from the stereotype. Thus, in the end of the show, he said, "You can't stereotype 1.5 billion of people for an action of five."

I hope for those who still see things from one single perspective can get an enlightment about how things really are.

Another Awkward and Confusing Conversation

Duh, lagi-lagi aku terjebak dalam percakapan yang canggung dan membingungkan. Bukannya aku nggak suka, cuma rasanya awkward aja, apalagi kalo ngomongin sesuatu yang sensitive dengan seseorang yang punya opposite argument. Seperti malam ini...
Aku dan Zhanar jalan-jalan kayak biasanya, menikmati hari-hari terakhir di Florida. Setelah selesai keliling-keliling dan foto-foto, kita mampir ke hot tub, nyamperin Pato and Jade. Kita ngobrol-ngobrol nggak jelas di pinggir hot tub sampe akhirnya para cowok pindah ke hot tub sebelah buat nyamperin cewek-cewek berbikini. Tinggal kita berdua...
Kita ngomongin macem2 sampe akhirnya nyenggol masalah pacaran. Dia nanya gimana pacaran di Indonesia. Ya aku bilang kalo kita punya value-value yang membatasi kita dari pre-marital sex. Trus dia nanya, kalo cium bibir sama pelukan boleh nggak. Aku bilang kalo itu semua berdasarkan pada personal limitation aja. Berdasarkan agama dan budaya kita nggak seharusnya ngelakuin hal-hal yang menjurus ke adultery, nah, soal hal-hal apa sajakah yang masuk kategori itu, semuanya tergantung pada diri masing-masing. Personally, aku mikir kalo aku meluk cowok, itu nggak bakal bikin kita langsung horny dsb. For me, it's fine. Kalo di Indonesia, aku emang nggak sembarangan meluk2 cowok. Tapi, kalo disini ada temen cowok yang mau meluk, aku nggak terlalu keberatan, asal meluknya ringan-ringan aja, nggak yang serem-serem gitu. Asalkan kita tau sikon, menurutku itu nggak masalah. Lagian, arti sebuah pelukan kan berbeda di setiap budaya.
Nah, setelah ada sedikit argumen tentang mengategorikan hal-hal fisik itu baik atau enggak, dia (aku emang menghindari untuk menyebut nama) nanya lagi, gimana bisa kamu pacaran tapi nggak pernah ciuman atau pelukan?
Nah, pertanyaan ini juga pernah dilontarkan hostsisterku yang masih berumur 12 tahun.
Aku bilang...well, di Indonesia juga banyak kok anak-anak muda yang pacaran trus ciuman dan pelukan,, tapi nggak di depan publik. yang perlu digarisbawahi adalah: berdasarkan agama kita nggak seharusnya melakukan itu.
Dia nanya lagi, "ya itulah yang aku pengen tau, gimana caranya kamu bisa pacaran kalo kamu dilarang ciuman en pelukan sama agamamu. Sebenernya pacaran itu boleh nggak sih?"
Aku bilang, "Jujur aku nggak pernah denger ada hukum pasti soal pacaran yang seketat hukum nggak boleh mabok atau makan babi. Asalkan kamu jauh-jauh dari zina sih menurutku oke-oke aja. Soal ciuman dan pelukan, kamu pacaran nggak cuma buat ngedapetin kontak fisik kan?"
Dia nanya lagi, "Lha terus kamu kalo pacaran ngapain aja dong kalo nggak boleh ciuman ma pelukan ma having sex? Terus, apa bedanya dong kamu jalan bareng temen cowokmu sama jalan bareng cowokmu?"
Hmm...aku bingung deh sama cara pikir orang-orang...
"Ya beda lahh...kalo sama temen, kamu kan nggak ada feeling apa-apa...kalo sama pacar kan kamu punya perasaan sayang..."
Dia nambahin, "Tapi sayang itu kan juga bisa tumbuh kalo km pelukan...bisa gandengan tangan. Kalo kamu nggak ngapa-ngapain, gimana kamu bisa suka dan sayang?"
Aku njawab, "Ya kan kamu bisa suka dari personality-nya..."
Aku rada speechless di bagian ini... Sebelum bisa nambahin, dia nanya lagi...
"Trus, kamu kok bisa married sebelum kamu having sex sama dia?"
Nah, lo... Rasanya aku pengen tereak "YA BISA LAAAAH!!!!"
Hh...sabar...sabar...
Aku akhirnya njawab, "Ya kan kamu married karena kamu cinta sama dia, toh pas malam pertama akhirnya kamu bisa berhubungan seks juga kan."
Dia nambahin, "Gimana kalo dia nggak enak diajakin having sex?"
Jreeeeeng....
Mak Erot masi idup kan??

Dia nambahin sebelum aku bisa njawab apa-apa, "Itu kan penting banget..."
Aku bilang, "Masalah begitu kan masi bisa diperbaiki..."
Dia ketawa...
-_-!

Dia nanya lagi, "Trus kalo kamu punya pilihan antara dua cowok buat jadi suamimu, gimana milihnya dong kalo kamu nggak boleh having sex?"
"Ya kan bisa diliat dari personalitynya, penghasilannya, tampangnya, dll. Nggak mesti harus 'nyobain' dulu kan?"
Duh...sumpah deh...masa ya mau milih yang mana yang lebih gede? ckckckck
Aku nambahin, "Back home, seks itu nggak sepenting disini."

What's so wrong about this damn world? Aku-nya yang konservatif atau orang-orang yang berpikiran dangkal?

Temen-temenku di skolah pernah ngomongin siapa aja yang masi virgin, aku cuma mesem-mesem aja. Trus, waktu kita ngisi quiz di internet, ada pertanyaan "Apakah anda berniat untuk berhubungan seks sebelum menikah?", kebanyakan temenku njawab, "Berniat? Oh...sure"

Anybody can give me an answer for these whole damn things?

Masalah Persholatan

Sholat adalah kebutuhan, bukan kewajiban... Tapi apa jadinya kalo sholatmu itu cuma sebuah kebiasaan?

Sholat di negeri orang emang rada susah, apalagi kalau penduduknya bukan mayoritas Islam. Nggak ada masjid, musholla, ataupun adzan. Kalau lagi nggak pergi kemana-mana sih tinggal ngecek jadwal sholat di islamicfinder.org trus sholat di kamar deh. Tapi kalo lagi travelling seharian mau sholat dimana? Kalo travellingnya sendirian, kita bisa ngecek masjid terdekat lewat internet trus mampir deh. Kalo travellingnya bareng-bareng dan udah dijadwal ketat gimana dong? Mau permisi ke masjid juga nggak enak rasanya, mau nyari tempat yang bisa dipake sholat juga susah, apalagi kalo nggak di kota besar. Hhmm...kalo gitu sih masalah kreativitas aja. Tapi, kira2 Allah maklum gak ya?

Yap, banyak banget pertanyaan2 yang muncul di kepala kalo udah nyangkut masalah persholatan. "Gimana", "dimana", "kapan", dan "boleh gak ya" langsung berlompatan di pikiran kita. Keterbatasan ilmu agama yang kita punya sangat mempengaruhi hal-hal seperti ini. Seperti diriku yang dangkal banget ilmu agamanya ini, selalu diserang pertanyaan2 macam itu, tapi selalu berakhir dengan jawaban "Insya Allah gak papa deh, yang penting niatnya baik" Hahaha. Mau gimana lagi dong? -_-!

Aku sering banget dapet masalah persholatan ini selama homestay-ku di Amrik sejauh ini. Hostfam-ku yang non-muslim dan komunitas sekitar yang jarang banget ada orang muslimnya menjadi salah satu alasan. Kalau lagi ada acara bareng Exchangies yang lain, awalnya aku agak lega, kan banyak siswa muslimnya tuh. Tapi, setelah aku mencari tahu, berawal dengan iseng2 nanya ke beberapa siswa muslim, "Eh, kamu sholat gak?" atau langsung to the point, "Eh, sholat yuk!", I finally found out...ternyata mereka gak sholat! Or...not that I know of. Aku juga pernah nginep sama temen muslimku selama 3 hari dan aku gak pernah liat dia sholat.
Malahan, ada temen muslimku yang bilang, "Aku nggak sholat soalnya aku nggak ngerasa pengen dan butuh sholat. Ntar kalo aku udah dewasa dan ngerasa pengen sholat, ya udah aku sholat deh." Well, dia ngomongnya gak persis kayak gitu sih, tapi berdasarkan English comprehensionku ya artinya semacam itu. Aku jadi mikir, jreeng...ada ya hukum kayak gitu?

Anyhow, balik lagi ke masalah persholatanku. Karena susahnya sholat dengan tetap memperhatikan jadwal kegiatan orang-orang sekitar dan keadaan fisik ruangan, aku kadang-kadang memperbolehkan diriku sendiri untuk merangkap sholat walaupun nggak lagi bepergian jauh dan tayammum karena di kamar mandi lagi banyak orang jadi nggak mungkin kalo mau nyelup2in kaki di wastafel. Well...aku list aja deh apa aja yang pernah aku lakuin...

1. Hostfamku kadang2 suka ngajakin makan di luar. Kita berangkat sebelum maghrib dan pulang pas isya. Akhirnya, aku menjamak sholat padahal jarak rumah-restoran cuma 20 menit perjalanan.
   
2. Waktu ikutan high ropes course bareng exchangies yang lain, aku terjebak dalam perlengkapan security yang susah banget makenya. Kegiatan itu dimulai sekitar waktu dhuhur dan berakhir sampe maghrib. Karena aku udah bundled up di tali temali security plus winter jacket, akhirnya aku tayamum deh. Apalagi waktu itu aku baru selesai coursenya pas udah hampir gelap. Jarak antara tempat kita menginap dan tempat course-nya agak jauh. Akhirnya, aku lari-lari di salju yang cukup dalem dan nyamperin lodge kosong terdekat di tengah hutan dan sholat di situ deh...
3. Christmas party-nya exchangies diadakan di sebuah high school cafetaria. Ketika tiba waktu dhuhur, aku sholat di ruangan penyimpanan bahan makanan (karena kita nggak boleh masuk ke area high school-nya). Sholat dengan dikelilingi tumpukan boks2 berisi tepung dan beras...hahaha, sounds exciting.
4. Aku sempat diundang ke party-nya temenku, di rumah dia aja sih. Kita nonton film, sledding, sama makan-makan gitu ceritanya. Waktu sholat pun tiba. Aku minta ijin buat sholat di kamarnya. Tapi...aduuh, kamarnya kotor banget buk. Ceritanya, dia animal-lover gitu, jadi di kamarnya ada banyak kandang burung dan kadal. Jadilah banyak pup burung di lantai. Akhirnya aku sholat di kasur deh...karena ngerasa nggak sopan kalo berdiri di kasur, jadilah aku sholat sambil duduk.
5. Sepulang sekolah, aku selalu naik bus sekolah. Perjalanan yang ditempuh adalah satu jam. Bulan Desember-Januari sempat membawa masalah. Pasalnya, aku sampai di rumah pada jam 4.30 pm, nah...pada bulan Desember-Januari, waktu maghrib adalah sebelum jam 4.30. Aku nggak sempet sholat ashar di sekolah karena sepulang sekolah aku harus ngejar bus. Jadilah, aku sholat di bus.
6. Hari pertama di Busch Garden aku habiskan tanpa ada halangan, all day fun, karena aku lagi dapet, jadinya gak perlu susah2 nyari tempat sholat. Tapi seminggu kemudian ketika kami semua kembali ke Busch Garden karena dapet tiket gratis, aku udah suci. Jadi, di tengah hari, aku misah sama temen2ku buat nyari tempat sholat. Dan aku berakhir sholat di ruang first aid. Hihihi...untung ibu susternya baik hati. Yah, itulah tips buat temen2 yang mau pergi ke amusement park yang nggak punya musholla: sholat di first aid room aja...nyaman dan sepi, hehehe.

Yah, itulah sebagian cerita yang aku punya. Kadang-kadang aku ngerasa seneng banget setelah melalui berbagai halangan (lebay) sebelum akhirnya bisa sholat, soalnya berasa lega banget. Tapi, masih ada yang mengganjal di hati; sebenernya aku ini sholat karena kebutuhan, kewajiban, atau cuma kebiasaan ya?
Papaku pernah bilang, "Jadikan sholat itu kebutuhanmu" Tapi, sejauh ini aku ngerasa sholat itu kewajiban. Kalo aku nggak sholat, emang merasa berdosa dan ngerasa ada yang ilang, tapi kalo aku mau sholat, aku masih mikir "Aduuh, ntar nggak enak diliatin orang-orang" atau "Aduh, aku males njelasin ke ibu suster itu kalo aku harus sholat 5 kali sehari" atau "Aduh, kalo sholat sekarang, ntar nggak bisa naik roller coaster bareng temen-temen" or so on.
Rasanya susaaaah banget buat mengubah feeling itu. Duh, gimana ya buk? Kasi hidayah dong...
Tapi kata papa hidayah itu untuk dicari, bukan untuk ditunggu...
What should I do?

HERO

Hero.... That word echoed in my head for several minutes after I watched a performance of Danny Gokey of Americal Idol Who just sang Hero by Mariah Carey. It was so touching to see (or heard) his rough life after he lost his wife and now he is standing on the stage to prove that he can get over it and start living his dreams. I think everybody will reach that moment of life where they get stuck and there's nobody to put their feet back on the ground. At that point, they will search what they really need to keep going on. That is their own inner strength....

There's a hero if you look inside your heart.
You don't have to be afraid of what you are.

There's an answer if you reach into your soul

and the sorrow that you know will melt away.

And then a hero comes along

with the strength to carry on

and you cast your fears aside

and you know you can survive.

So, when you feel like hope is gone

look inside you and be strong

and you'll finally see the truth

that a hero lies in you.

It's a long road when you face the world alone.

No one reaches out a hand for you to hold.

You can find love if you search within yourself

and the emptiness you felt will disappear.

And then a hero comes along

with the strength to carry on

and you cast your fears aside

and you know you can survive.

So, when you feel like hope is gone

look inside you and be strong

and you'll finally see the truth

that a hero lies in you.

Lord knows dreams are hard to follow,

but don't let anyone tear them away.

Hold on, there will be tommorow.

In time you'll find the way.

And then a hero comes along

with the strength to carry on

and you cast your fears aside

and you know you can survive.

So, when you feel like hope is gone

look inside you and be strong

and you'll finally see the truth

that a hero lies in you.

That a hero lies in you,

THAT THE HERO LIES IN YOU....

I feel that I am in that point right now. I am far from those who usually give their hands for me to hold on, from those who devoted their time to hear me whine, shortly, from those whom I love. This is probably not as hard as the experience of those who lost the ones they loved; or those who have to survive among war and violence, or those whom their liberty has been taken away. Comparing to anyone else's tough experiences in the world, my experience is nothing. But, it is hard for me...in the beginning.

Here, I have my second family. They said they are ready to hear my story, happy or sad. But, it's just different. I also make friends, but they are a lot different. Different here is not related to race, nationality, language, or whatever. The difference is just about what I feel about them. I don't have that comfort to tell them my problems, my thoughts, and my experinces. Friends are friends are friends. But in my case, friends here and there are just different.

Realizing these things, I stopped and started to think. I am not gonna have fun if I let this burden sit on my shoulder. I gotta move on.

I listen to my heart, I befriend myself, and I let myself take a rest. That is all what I did, and I feel TONS better now.

I am happy the way I am now cuz I know wherever I go, I'll always have someone to trust and to lean on....

myself...

Purgatory

Hi there!

haha... I am gonna write an unimportant news!

in English class, we read Dante's novel of Inferno. Literarily, Inferno means Hell, so the story is all about Dante's trip to hell. He visited all level of Hell, from the worst until the best place in Hell. Today, Brenda, my teacher, asked us to take a quiz related to the novel we are reading.

The quiz will 'predict' which level of hell are you going to. There are many multiple choice and true/false questions to answers. The questions are like "Do you believe in God?" or "Have you engaged an oral sex?" or "Do you think the best way in war is to bomb the hell out of another country?" and dotdotdot.

and my 'fate' has been decided...hahaha

I'm gonna be in PURGATORY, lol

that means a temporary hell. If all my sin has been washed out then I will be able to see God in Paradise. O yeah...

LOL

Once my friend found out that I am being "placed" in purgatory, he said, "Oh, c'mon Eki, you didn't even make it to Hell! All fun people are in Hell!"

Hahahaha...yeah, that is true! lol

Anyway...although I don't take the result of this quiz seriuosly, I often find myself imagining myself being punished in hell, which is horrible. I know that if my sin is all washed out, I'll be able to escape from all the torment, but....the sticky boiling tar and grappling hook that tear your body away sounds really really really terrible.

Ooohh...I am gonna be a better man (or woman) someday, I promise

Forgive me Ya Allah

T.T

The World is a Beautiful Place

Today in English class we read a poem by Lawrence Ferlinghetti. I really like that poem. Unlike other poems that have too much metaphores and makes me think too much like "What's the relationship between dusk and monkey?", this poem is simple but has a deep meaning. It is about life which sometimes doesn't seem as nice as you expected but it's always been a beautiful place to live in.

The world is a beautiful place

to be born into

if you don't mind happiness

not always beingso very much fun

if you don't mind a touch of hell

now and then

just when everything is fine

because even in heaven

they don't sing all the time

The world is a beautiful place

to be born into

if you don't mind some people dying

all the time

or maybe only starving

some of the time

which isn't half bad

if it isn't you

Oh the world is a beautiful place

to be born into

if you don't much mind

a few dead minds

in the higher places

or a bomb or two

now and then

in your upturned faces

or such other improprieties

as our Name Brand society

is prey to

with its men of distinction

and its men of extinction

and its priests

and other patrolmen

and its various segregations

and congressional investigations

and other constipations

that our fool flesh

is heir to

Yes the world is the best place of all

for a lot of such things

as making the fun scene

and making the love scene

and making the sad scene

and singing low songs and having inspirations

and walking around

looking at everything

and smelling flowers

and goosing statues

and even thinking

and kissing people and

making babies and wearing pants

and waving hats and

dancing

and going swimming in rivers

on picnics

in the middle of the summer

and just generally

'living it up'

Yes

but then right in the middle of it comes the smiling

mortician

Subhanallah: How Perfect is Allah and Far Above any flaw and association.

Hi there!!

Soo... it's 10.11 pm now and I'm totally stinky. Pato and I went to Jacquie's birthday party today. Well, it's not like a real party, we were just hanging out, going sledding, having some pizzas, and watching a confusing movie. The best part was sledding. I Love sledding, it was really fun and needs less effort comparing to ice skating and skiing, lol. The trail was really long and pretty steep. We went wicked fast >,<

I wish we had snow in Indonesia T,T

Snow is the coolest thing ever! Maybe for someone who had lived with snow for their entire life, it is not that stunning for them. But, for someone who only have a tiny chance to play with snow like me, it is awesome!

When a light fell on the snow, it will glitters. Sooo beautiful! I can't stop staring at it. However, the best part about snow is the snowflakes.

So, one day after I went ice skating with Zhanar, we had to wait in the parking lot for Greg to pick us. It was slighly snowing. I killed the time by taking random pictures. When I was going to take Zhanar's picture, I saw it. Something on Zhanar's hair...snowflakes!! Oohh...I've never seen snowflakes that big before. They were not huge, but they were big enough for me to see the details. None of them were similar. Well, scientists say that no two snowflakes are alike. Yeah, it's true.

Then, I started to take a picture of Zhanar's hair (the snowflakes, lol). I must have looked so retarded...taking pictures of someone else's hair. People might think that I was observing Zhanar's head lice, LOL.

And here's my shots:

Isn't it cool??

Well, you might not be able to see it clearly from these pictures. But, yeah...it was wicked awesome.

These things that can make you say "wow" sometimes remind you to The One that created this fascinating world. "Thank you" is the one we should say to Him because He gave us two eyes, two ears, one nose, one mouth, and four limbs to enjoy what He had created.

All I could say is "SUBHANALLAH!!!"

PS: if you wanna see more great pictures of snowflakes, you can visit http://www.time.com/time/photogallery/0,29307,1869394,00.html?iid=perma_share

time, the pictures are taken by pro, not an amateurish like me ;)

Life is A Mystery

Today my dad called me from Indonesia. At first he asked me to go online, but then he told me a very bad news. My neighbor passed away yesterday. It really made me shocked. He was our close neighbor who lived 2 houses away from ours. We had a good relationship with him. And he passed away, unpredictably. He was pretty young, maybe 40's. And what makes me really sad is that he has 5 children. His family is not really wealthy, but not poor. He has a small convenient store that probably is his second biggest financial resource after his own job.

So, one night, he went out with his son by a motorcycle. Then, he was crashed by some insane drunk teenagers who was also riding a motorcycle. He is not saved. His son is in the hospital at the moment, he got a really bad injury on his head. I feel really bad about that.

This bad news makes me think...

How simple God can take away our life and how fast it can be. Life it's unpredictable, and that's what makes it challenging (not always in a good way, of course).

I'm not ready to leave or to be left by the loved ones. Not now, and maybe I never will until it really happens.