So much things to tell, so little time to write

I can't explain how I feel right now. I feel everything. Sad, happy, excited, gloomy, whatever.

These last two weeks were very hectic. I had so much things to do, mostly schoolworks. I had so many things to write here, including my trip to Provincetown, MA and New York City, also my intense e-conversation with Lucy. I just don't have enough time to do that.

Now.. Theresia just left for Germany. T-T

I don't know when can we meet again. Probably not at all... but I really hope we will someday.

This makes me think how soon I am going to leave. A lil bit more than a month. Jade and Pato are gonna leave before me. And next week is the last meeting with NH exchangies. Everybody is gonna leave real soon. We don't know if we ever get a chance to meet each other again. To think about goodbyes are just painful.

My goodbyes are not gonna stop there. When I get back home, there will be a farewell party for my friends who are graduating from high school. I just get back to see them, and I have to see them leave! They're my besties,, and my school days are gonna be different without them T-T

I hope everything will be alright...

A Post When I am Mentally TIRED T-T

Capek...capek...capek...

Haduh...rasanya pengen bobok seharian penuh. Udah dari seminggu yang lalu aku pengen ngepost cerita2 dari spring break yang sangat menyenangkan itu...tapi apa daya, those damned homeworks were waiting to be done. Kalo udah soal peer, aku jadi nggak tahan. Pengennya dikerjain dulu, baru seneng-seneng. Tapi kok sampe sekarang belom seneng-seneng juga??? Sabaaar... soalnya besok aku bakal have fun juga.

Hff...ini aku baru nyeleseiin Newsletter buat Bina Antarbudaya sama POW buat math class-ku. Sebenernya masih ada satu tugas lagi: English creative writing. Kalo itu bisa nunggu dikit lah...soalnya aku belum ada inspirasi.

Ngomong2 soal mentally exhausted...aku jadi mikir, ntar kalo masuk kelas 3 apa aku kuat ya? Les, bimbel di skolah, pr, tugas, ujian praktek, UAS, UNAS, PMB, SNMPTN....what the hell?? Akhir akhir ini, di Facebook temenku pada rame soal PMB unair dan ITB plus SNMPTN. Ada beberapa temenku yang berhasil tembus PMB (congratulationS!!), tapi ada juga beberapa temenku yang harus ikut SNMPTN karena nggak diterima PMB. Aku juga baca notes mereka yang saling menyemangati satu sama lain. Hh...rek, aku bangga sama kalian semua T-T

Btw, aku harus nyiapin diri sebelum masuk kelas 3. Harus nyiapin diri karena aku bakal punya temen-temen baru (semoga mereka bakal sekeren dan se-nyenengin temen2ku yang sekarang)...harus nyiapin diri buat nerima ekspektasi tinggi dari ortu dan keluarga... dan yang paling penting, nyiapin diri untuk ngeluarin tenaga habis-habisan buat belajar, berusaha, dan berdoa. Yup, taun depan akan jadi taun yang penting buat aku.

Tahun lalu, sewaktu aku di Jakarta buat orientasi Nasional, aku dijemput Om Uki. Beliau tuh sepupunya papaku. Di mobil, beliau bilang, "Semoga eki nanti bisa jadi orang sukses pertama di keluarganya Eyang Yunus ya.." Orang sukses pertama? Yup, karena aku cucu pertamanya eyang. Pastinya, ortuku dan keluargaku berharap banyak dari aku, apalagi setelah exchange year-ku di USA ini.

hmm...burden? yes. Motivation? yes.

Eki Semangaaaat!!!

^,^9

btw, besok aku berangkat ke Cape Cod... trus minggu depan, di skolah ada Carnival Week..

Smoga bisa memulihkan otakku yang lagi lesu ini..

:D

Ganbatte!!

April 17, 2009: Day of Silence

Today, in the computer lab when I asked Rachel about our semi-formal dance, she didn't answer.

Me: Oh, you can't speak? Are you sick?

Rachel: (shook her head)

Me: (Tilting my head ~ didn't understand what's going on)

Then, Rachel opened Microsoft Words and started to type up her answer.

Rachel: [I'm doing the silence protest]

Me: For what?

Rachel: [Against anti-gay people that continue to bully gays]

Me: Why? (stupid question)

Rachel: [Because at schools there are many students who were bullied by others because they're gay, but the teachers did absolutely nothing]

Me: Really? (I was thinking that she was talking about OUR school. I couldn't believe that there are many anti-gay people in our school)

Rachel: [Yes. There is one 12 years old kid who was killed because his friends always harass him. He was not even gay, but his friends thought that he was]

Me: Killed??? Are you serious?

Rachel: (shook her head) [He killed himself]

Me: ooh. Who is he? (I was still thinking that this poor kid is from our school)

Rachel: (opened some website and showed me an article about that kid)

Me: Oooh...ok!

Frankly, I am impressed by Rachel's dedication about this case. I mean, it's hard not to talk for one day. Even though it won't make a big change, at least this action can open people's eyes and even slap them in the head, just like me.

I'm not a bully, that's for sure. I hate to hurt people's feeling. However, sometimes my words can be offensive to some people, even though I didn't mean to offend them.

Sometimes, when my friends and I were fooling around, they would imitate girlish boy's gesture, then I would say, "Oh my God, You look so gay!"

That's a common joke for me, that means I say it a lot. Now I realize that what I say is not appropriate. I can imagine if a gay person hear me say that. It would probably feels like if someone was joking around me and say to his friend, "OMG, you look like an Asian!" or "Hey, you look like a Moslem!"

I would probably say, "What's wrong with that?"

Back home, my friends also say this kind of joke. They would call each other "Bencong" which means a transgender person. If a transgender person hear them saying that, they'll be hurt too.

This is not about right or wrong, because it's relative and different in every culture. This is all about respecting others.

PS: For more stories about Day of Silence, please visit:

www.dayofsilence.org/ and

http://www.glsen.org/cgi-bin/iowa/all/news/record/2400.html




EDITED:
I found this cool picture of Dougie Poynter (McFly)

Mimpi

Duh,, belakangan ini aku mimpi-mimpi aneh mulu...

ada yang serem, menyedihkan, ada pula yang bikin seneng...

Kemarin aku mimpi didatengin setan, aku lupa wujudnya gimana. Yang jelas, waktu bangun, aku langsung keringetan dan deg-degan banget. Hiyy...

Tiga hari yang lalu, aku juga mimpi serem. Critanya, aku udah balik ke Indonesia. Nah, setelah nyampe, aku dikabari kalo papaku meninggal dunia. Astaghfirullah...

Aku syok banget. Apalagi setelah diceritain kalo beliau meninggal dengan tragis. :(

Dalam mimpi, papa kena serangan jantung. Semua orang mikir kalo beliau udah meninggal. Akhirnya beliau segera dimakamkan.

Setelah dimakamkan, ternyata beliau hidup lagi. Orang2 nyoba menggali makam beliau, tapi semuanya udah terlambat. Beliau meninggal karena kehabisan oksigen di dalam tanah.

Duhh,,, serem banget kan mimpinya?? The freakiest dream I've ever had deh...

Semoga mimpi itu nggak bakalan jadi kenyataan...amiiin

*waktu aku nulis posting ini, aku jadi deg-degan lagi*

The second freakiest dream I've ever had is...waktu di kompleks tempat aku tinggal ada wabah pocong. Setiap malam, banyak pocong berkeliaran. Nah, ceritanya gerombolan pocong itu punya Chief gitu... Ketua RT-ku akhirnya berunding dengan Chief pocong tersebut. Si Chief pocong bilang bahwa mereka bisa meninggalkan kompleks kami kalau kami mempersembahkan sesajian tertentu. Merekapun setuju.

Malam berikutnya, ketua RT sudah mempersiapkan sesajian yang diperlukan. The thing is, mereka butuh seseorang yang bersedia untuk memberikan sesajian itu kepada para gerombolan pocong. Gak jelas juga sih kenapa pak RT nggak mau nyerahin sesajian itu.

Akhirnya, pak RT nunjuk aku deh (aneh ya?). Gak tau kenapa, dalam mimpi aku berani banget. Padahal, biasanya kalo ada sesuatu yang berhubungan dengan pocong, aku langsung keder2 nggak karuan gitu.

However, akhirnya, aku yang didampingi oleh papaku berangkat untuk mempersembahkan sesajian itu. Kami pergi ke kolong jembatan di dekat kompleks rumah. Di sana sudah ada beberapa pocong yang menunggu kedatangan kami. Aku memberanikan diri untuk mendekati mereka. Hwii...face-to-face sama pocong!

Setelah urusan selesai, aku buru-buru ngibrit soalnya nggak tahan ngeliat mukanya si pocong.

Dan, believe it or not...aku sudah dua kali dapet mimpi yang sama...

Creepy banget nggak sih?

Well, aku bukan tipe orang yang percaya sama mimpi. Tapi, bagaimanapun juga, mimpi tetep ngasi efek dalam keseharianku. Kalo malemnya mimpi buruk, seharian aku jadi rada nervous gitu. Kalo mimpinya menyenangkan, seharian aku bisa blushing terus. Haha...what a freak!

Speaking about pleasant dream, I just had one two days ago :)
Ceritanya, David Archuleta di-host di rumah hostfamily-ku! Hahaha...
Mimpinya panjang banget and it felt so real! Bangun tidur aku langung merengut, "Hiks, kok cuma mimpi sih??"

Situ Gintung

Innalillahi wainnailaihi roji'un....

hari Jumat kemarin, Jade bilang kalo dia baru baca di BBC.com yang meliput musibah banjir di Indonesia. Langsung aku buka internet buat ngecek. BAM! Bendungan jebol di Tangerang. Waduh, deg-degan nih jadinya. Pasalnya, aku punya sodara yang tinggal di Tangerang. Aku langsung kirim email ke mama buat nanyain kabar sodara di Tangerang itu.
Hari berikutnya, mama ngebales, katanya sodara2 di sana alhamdulillah nggak kena musibah. Fffiiuh...

Kemarin aku iseng2 baca Kompas.com dan menemukan banyak artikel tentang musibah ini. Salah satu artikel yang bikin aku merinding itu berjudul "Semoga Mama masuk surga ya?"
T.T
Hiks...aku gak tau gimana rasanya kehilangan orang2 tersayang, apalagi orang tua. Dan aku belum mau tahu. Keluarga adalah satu hal yang worth dying for. Kalo aku bisa milih kapan aku bisa mati, aku mungkin bakalan milih mati sebelum orangtuaku dipanggil Allah SWT.

Anyway, aku turut berduka cita atas musibah yang menimpa sodara2 di Tangerang. Semoga arwah mereka diterima di sisi Allah SWT..... dan bagi keluarga yang ditinggalkan, semoga mereka mendapatkan ketabahan....

"Sesungguhnya kita ini adalah kepunyaan Allah dan kepadaNyalah kita akan dikembalikan"